Monday, May 22, 2006

Climate Change for Fun and Profit

Dear Subscriber:

Hope you’re enjoying double-digit returns from the stock picks in last month’s special "Make the Iraq War Work For You" newsletter. For those looking to do some long term investing, check out this month’s edition:

How to profit from global warming

* Invest in companies specializing in ice cream, air conditioning and sunglasses.
* Calculate how high the oceans will rise in order to determine which bargain inland real estate will become the next hot coastal properties. Buy now to ensure your grandchildren’s future.
* Invest heavily in levee and dike construction along the eastern seaboard, particularly in the New York City area.
* Book tickets now for future underwater tours of historic New Orleans.
* Buy or lease an extra SUV. Ensure that your vehicles have the lowest gasoline mileage and the highest emissions ratings. Do what you can to increase CO2 levels in the atmosphere in order to assist your financial planning and bolster your portfolio’s returns.
* Investigate what major insurance companies are planning for and follow suit.
* Check projected hurricane and tornado patterns for the coming decades and invest in regional demolition and construction companies.
* Buy shares in Halliburton.
* Buy future farmland in northern Canada for pennies on the dollar.
* Scope out possible sites for new desert spas in Iowa and Nebraska. Invest heavily.
* Post used ski equipment on eBay.
* Stock up on sunblock.

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