Tuesday, May 02, 2006

The Bush In The White House Comes Back

"The Bush In The White House Comes Back"
(with apologies to Dr. Seuss)

This was no time for play.
This was no time for fun.
This was no time for games.
There was work to be done.

All those deep,
Deep, deep woes.
All those woes had to go.
When the voters went
Down to the polls that day.
They said, "Somebody has to
Make these woes go away.
Somebody, SOMEBODY
Has to, you see."
Then they picked out two Somebodies.
Bill Clinton and me.

There we were.
We started to push
And then who should show up
But George W. Bush.
"Oh-oh!" Bill said.
"Don’t you vote for that Bush.
That Bush is a bad one,
That George W. Bush.
He plays lots of bad tricks.
Don’t you let him come near.
You know all that happened
When his father was here."

"Play tricks?" laughed Mr. Bush.
"Oh, my my! No, no, no!
I just want to cut taxes
To make everything grow.
Keep your thoughts on your work.
Don’t get your minds bent.
I will move to The White House
And fix government."

And that Bush went right in!
He was up to no good!
So I ran in after
As fast as I could!

Do you know where I found him?
You know where he was?
He was cutting the taxes for the rich!
Yes he was!

The deficit was increasing
And the national debt, too.
And I said to George W.,
"What a bad thing to do!"

"But I like to help rich folk
With a tax cut or three.
And for every tax cut
They give money to me."

And then I got mad.
This was no time for fun.
I said, "Mr. Bush! You get out!
There is work to be done.
We have no time for tricks.
We must get back to work.
We can’t have you in here
Screwing up like a jerk!
Get out of The White House!
We don’t want you about!"
Though he’d lost the election,
We could not get him out.

The tax cuts piled up
And then came the debt!
A debt on the books!
One we’d always regret!
A huge trillion-dollar debt!
It flowed with red ink!
And I said, "Will this ever
go away? I don’t think!"

"Have no fear of that debt,"
Laughed George W. Bush.
"Why, I can fix huge debts.
Relax. There’s no rush!"

Do you know what he did next
With the national budget?
He cooked all the books.
Social security? He fudged it!

Then Bill Clinton looked in.
Bill saw the mess, too!
And Clinton and I
Did not know what to do.

We should work on our problems.
But that debt! What a spot!
"It may never come down!"
Clinton said. "It may not!"

But Mr. Bush laughed, "Ha! Ha!
I can make the debt go.
The way I take debt off the books
Is just so!"

"See here!" laughed Mr. Bush
"It’s just one step more.
The thing that takes debt
Off the books is a war!"

Then we saw Bush fool
The folks with success.
They’d forgotten the debt.
But the world! What a mess!

"Oh, hot spots!" he laughed.
"Let me deal with them, too.
To take your mind off war one,
All you need is war two!"

Whose war did he use?
I looked and saw whose!
And I said to Mr. Bush,
"This is very bad news.
The war you have started
Is not one we would choose."

"But my dad did not
Make the last push,"
Said Mr. Bush.
"He stopped way too soon,"
Shouted George W. Bush.
"Iraq will now watch
As I make Saddam fall.
I will rub him right out.
And bring freedom to all."

"But now we have more hot spots!"
I yelled. "War one, war two!
More hot spots! What next?
What more will you do?"

"Just watch me," he smirked.
"Why you know that I can!"
Then he picked up his axis
And threatened Iran.

"I can clean up these hot spots
Before you count three!
No spots are too hard
For a good guy like me!"

The world was off kilter
And then Mr. Bush said,
"We better hide all of this
Under the bed."

Then he blamed the UN
And the Democrats, too.
All the problems were caused
by the unpatriotic few.

But Mr. Bush was a bit flummoxed.
He scratched his own head.
"How can I get reelected?"
He finally said.

To blame hot spots on others
Will be hard," said Mr. Bush.
"I can’t do it alone,"
Said George W. Bush.

"It is good I have someone
To help me," he said.
"He’s the one who put all
These ideas in my head.
It is good that I have him.
He’s a great guy you see.
He worked for my father.
He’s my VP Cheney."

And then Cheney the Veep
Said he’d spread out the load.
"I must share all the credit
With young Karl Rove."

"He’s quite the fine helper.
He’s handy you’ll see.
And I like to release him
On our enemies."

And then Karl said,
"Bring the guy named Wolfy.
These problems are too much
For just Cheney and me.
But now have no fear!
We will clean them you’ll see!
Just leave it to Wolfowitz, Rove and Cheney!"

"Come on! Take them away!"
Yelled Richard Cheney.
"I will blame all the hot spots
On the one called Kerry.
With dubious ads
That we’ll run on TV."
Millions were freed
For the ads on TV.

Karl covered the problems,
Put the blame on the man
Who lived in The White House
Before this began.

But the troubles still lingered,
There were questions they knew.
Some previous colleagues
Were asked what was true.

So they avoided the commission.
They downplayed the truth.
They painted the inquisitors
As partisans uncouth.

"With some help we can do it!"
Said the advisor Wolfy.
Then who should appear
But the one called Condi.
Then three more popped up
Ridge, Powell and Rummy.

"We will clean up this mess
If it takes us all year!
If it takes ‘til November,
It will still disappear!"

They worked out of The White House
Where we once worked, too.
And George W. laughed,
"Now you’ll see what to do!
My guys are all clever.
My guys are good shots.
My guys have good ammo.
They’ll never get caught!"

But this did not look
Very clever to me.
Cover lies and deceptions
With more trickery?

"All this does is make more of a mess!"
We yelled at George W. Bush.
"Stop all this madness
Don’t be so damn louche."

"Take your Cabinet members
Condi, Rove and Cheney.
Call them off the case.
Make them all go away!"

"On, no! said George W.
"We’ll trash each Democrat.
With the money we’ve gathered
We can go on the attack."

Then another Republican
Appeared on the scene.
And another and another
‘Til they’d formed a new team.

A virtual alphabet of
Republican guys
Had gathered in Washington
To help spread the lies.

"Come on! Block those truth tellers!
Hide the whole mess,"
Yelled the neo-con helpers
As they continued to press.

Oh, the things that they did!
And they did them so well,
Not a tittle of truth
Could anyone tell.
But George W. stood there
And he said, "This is great.
This is what they should do
If it’s all not too late."

"With a little more help,
All the work will be done.
We need one more dissembler
And I know just the one."

"Look close! At the mountains
In west Pakistan.
And you’ll find the one guy
Who is our real go-to man."

"Osama bin Laden
Is too hidden to see.
But he is the cat
Who’ll help reelect me."

"When we capture Osama
For voters to see
We’ll have dozens of ads
Spread all over TV."

"He has something called evil.
Evil’s so hard to find.
But once you have captured it
It’s a media gold mine.
Why evil trumps policy
Truth and protection.
For gullible voters
It’s the ultimate deception.

So come this election
Sometime in the fall,
We’ll find old Osama
And that will be all."

Now don’t ask me what evil is.
I never will know.
But, boy! Let me tell you
It makes pluralities grow.

"So you see!" laughed George W.,
Once the people have heard
That bin Laden’s in prison
My victory’s assured!"

"All mistakes are forgiven.
All screw-ups forgotten.
I’ll be back in The White House
To pursue all things rotten.
With my friends Karl Rove
Condi Rice and Cheney.
It’s really as simple as
A, B and C."

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