Former Conservative Party leadership candidate Maxime Bernier has quit the Conservative caucus and is about to form his own right-wing party. Unidentified hackers have released the following e-mails from Bernier’s inbox:
What the hell is going on here? I thought we had a deal: whoever won the PC leadership would get the full and unequivocal support of the loser. Now you’ve gone and pulled this stunt. You’re going to form your own party? May I suggest a name: the Know Nothing Party or the No MPs Party. I hope you freeze in hell or in Beauce which, after all, is pretty much the same thing.
Congratulations on breaking out on your own and forming a new party. Canada has long been a proud multicultural and multiparty country and I think it’s great that you are adding to at least one of those traditions. Most of all, I want to sincerely thank you for taking this step at this particular time. Let’s just say it takes some of the heat off me in the NDP caucus.
You’re really making me second guess some of my past decisions, particularly appointing you to three different Cabinet posts. You always were a bit of a pain in the ass but I figured making you a minister of this or that would keep you happy. Well, now that I’m not around to keep you on a short leash, look at the damage you’ve done? I may even have to come out of retirement to restore my reputation and reunite the right.
TO: Maxime CONFIDENTIAL
Hey, wassup, Max? Just heard you’re leaving the party and forming your own. How come you didn’t tell me? You know I’m a big fan and I know you’re a big supporter of Canadian values® so give me a call and we’ll set up a meeting. Just don’t tell that wimp, Andrew.
P.S. - Remind me to return your copy of Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead. Great read, by the way.
Way to go, Maxie boy! I didn’t think you had it in you but I gotta say I’m impressed. That’s some pair of cojones, mon frère. Look, I know a lotta folks are saying your new party is dead in the water but just look at me. Who’d a thunk three years ago I’d be sitting here in Toronto leading the Progressive Conservatives? The only thing that galls is that word “progressive” so hang on and when I’m done here, I’d love to join your party. Buck-a-beer forever!
TO: Maxime TOP SECRET
Congratulations Max. You know I’ve always been a secret admirer of yours. After all, we French Canadians have to stick together, eh? Even if I’m not from the Beauce or anywhere even that remotely Quebeçois. Anyway, I wish you the best of luck. Here’s hoping you win a bunch of seats in Quebec come the next election but just not the Liberal ones, LOL! Thanks again for ensuring a second Liberal majority government.