Two Debates In One

On Thursday night, Canadian voters will be conflicted. Not only will they have the opportunity to watch the English language leaders’ debate, they can also view the U. S. Vice Presidential debate between Joe Biden and Sarah Palin. Chances are that some viewers are going to be switching back and forth between the two debates which may result in interesting exchanges like these:

Steve Paikin (Canadian moderator): "How do you see Canada’s place in today’s world?"

Stephen Harper: "I see Canada playing a vital role in providing military support in America’s War on Terror."

Stéphane Dion: "I can see Canada being careful to set its own international course."

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Sarah Palin: "I can see Canada from my house."

Joe Biden: "We Democrats believe that NAFTA must be renegotiated to ensure fair trade as well as free trade."

Sarah Palin: "As I said, I can see Canada from my house but not Mexico."

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Jack Layton: "And that is how, by working with our neighbours, we can ensure that our economy will grow and that neighbours will continue to be spelled with a ‘u’."

Stephen Harper: "That is the type of narrowminded Marxist thinking that will keep Canada stuck in the past."

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Sarah Palin: "Thank you for that question. I’m not sure what you mean when you call Cuba a Marxist state. As far as I know, the Marx brothers always performed in English and thus I would be surprised if either Fidel Castro or his brother Raul are big fans."

Joe Biden: "I think the question relates to Cuba’s political philosophy. And if you go back to the Cuban Revolution in 1959, Fidel Castro immediately went on the Internet and proclaimed his support for all Marx brothers including, I believe, Groucho and Karl."

Gwen Ifill (U. S. moderator): "Changing pace a bit, what would you do to deal with global warming?"

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Gilles Duceppe: "The Bloc Quebecois will look at every issue from a Quebec perspective. If it’s good for Quebec, then we will support it."

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Sarah Palin: "I can also see Russia from my house and it’s pretty darn cold in Russia. I don’t think it’s that warm there at all."

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Elizabeth May: "And that’s why the Green Party supports not only a carbon tax but also a green shift, a blue shift and whatever other shift is required."

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Joe Biden: "Even back in 1929, Democrats were concerned about global warming. I remember seeing Franklin Roosevelt on TV telling the American people that we needed new agencies to deal with the problem like the NRA, the CO2 and the H2O. That’s the kind of bold thinking we need today."

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Steve Paikin: "Do you have any words of encouragement for the Canadian people during these troubled economic times?"

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Joe Biden: "I would ensure that every American continues to have the right to have as many firearms as he or she wants."

Sarah Palin: "As I said, I can see Canada from my house and I have a shotgun. Did I mention that I can field dress what I kill?"