Not So Fast

With the latest polling results showing Barack Obama leading by as many as ten points, it’s starting to look like a potential landslide victory for the Democratic candidate on November 4th. But, surprisingly, it appears that Obama is not that thrilled with this new trend.

Campaign insiders report that the Illinois senator is starting to get cold feet. Even before the events of last week, Obama was less and less enamored of taking on the top job in the nation. And now with the economy in free fall, four years in The White House is looking more like a jail sentence than a promotion.

"You know, maybe John McCain is right," mused Obama. "After all he’s way older than I am and must have lots more experience. Heck, the guy was born in the 30s so he probably even has some personal knowledge about the Great Depression and what you need to do to get out of another one."

Faced with a trillion dollar Wall Street bailout, a trillion dollar war in Iraq and giant liabilities from health care to social security, Obama is reconsidering his decision to try for the Oval Office. It’s not that he doesn’t enjoy campaigning and the huge adoring crowds, it’s just that he’s no longer that keen on actually winning.

Ordinarily, such uncertainty would give the opponent’s campaign a big boost. But that is definitely not the case in this election. In fact, John McCain himself is reportedly also having some second thoughts about his current job search.

"Who am I kidding?" said the Republican nominee. "I’m old. In fact, I’m really old. Most of my friends are either dead or retired. Why would I want all the stress of being President? It’s tough enough keeping track of my seven houses and thirteen vehicles without having to also remember where Spain is, how to use e-mail and what to do with the nuclear codes."

Informal talks between the two campaigns have apparently centered around a possible mutual withdrawal from this year’s election. Friday’s debate could feature an interesting joint announcement.

"We just don’t think it’s a good time to be President," said an anonymous campaign spokesman. "Frankly, given the present dire situation, I don’t think anyone wants the job any more, not even Hillary Clinton."