Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Bush Pens Memoir

As President Bush’s final days wind down, he reportedly spends more and more time honing his political legacy. And part of that political legacy will be laid out by the President in his personal memoir.

"This is my chance to set the record straight," said Bush. "I get to cut through all the lies and deception and tell it like it is."

Although most former presidents use a ghostwriter to help them write their memoirs, this president has decided to go it alone.

"I know y’all think I can’t read or write," Bush said jokingly. "But I can and I’m going to write this book all on my own."

Little is known about the content of the book. But the length and format have reportedly already been established.

"I guess it’s no surprise that it won’t be that long," said the President. "But y’all may be interested in my choice of format. It’ll be a picture book."

Asked to elaborate, President Bush indicated that he didn’t have a whole lot to say and thus would need other material to help meet his ambitious goal of writing a 125-page book. Foremost among that other material will be photographs and cartoons depicting Bush at work and play over the last eight years.

"I’ve always said that a picture is worth a thousand words," said the President. "So I figure with a few dozen pictures, my book will effectively be even longer than that boring doorstop written by Bill Clinton."

"Heck, nobody likes slogging through page after page of text," said Bush. "If most folks are like me, they like to look at pictures, too. And that’s what I’m going to give them - lots and lots of pictures."

Asked how he came to decide on this unusual format, President Bush hearkened back to the early days of his Administration.

"I distinctly remember reading a picture book on September 11th," said Bush. "I believe it was called ‘The Pet Goat’ and it made a big impression on me."

"Even after hearing about the planes hitting the Twin Towers," said the President. "I just couldn’t take my eyes off that book. From that day on, I vowed that my memoir, too, would be a picture book."

The title of the Bush memoir hasn’t been decided yet although the President seems partial to "Good Night Bush" or "George’s Web." It is anticipated that there will be a publishers’ bidding war for the rights to publish the book with the final advance predicted to be in the high four figures.

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