Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Political Animal Stories

Barack Obama was recently in hot water over what he thought was a harmless animal analogy. But by likening John McCain’s Bush-like positions to putting lipstick on a pig, he incurred the wrath of Republicans who claimed it was a sexist sleight against McCain’s running mate, Sarah Palin, the self-described lipstick-wearing, Rottweiler-like hockey mom.

The Obama camp is up in arms about the Republican charges and is accusing the McCain camp of engaging in dirty tricks and avoiding the real issues in the campaign. But if Obama’s people had done a bit of research, they would have known that the use of animal analogies in politics is fraught with peril as evidenced by these examples:

John Kerry - October 15, 2004
"My opponent’s positions are more of the same. You can apply copious amounts of makeup products on a porcine creature but that creature will still be porcine in nature."

Richard Nixon - November 30, 1973
"You can lead a political operative to the Watergate Hotel but you can’t make the operative avoid screwing up what should be a routine break-in."

George W. Bush - September 8, 2003
"A war in Afghanistan is worth two in Iraq."

Al Gore - December 15, 2000
"Don’t count your hanging chads until you’ve hatched an appropriate judicial strategy."

Bill Clinton - March 3, 2006
"Even a fishy president wouldn’t get caught if his intern kept her mouth shut."

John McCain - March 31, 2000
"Every dog has his day."

Mitt Romney - June 18, 2008
"It does no good to beat a dead campaign."

Dick Cheney - January 4, 2004
"The early bird captures the oil."

Donald Rumsfeld - October 8, 2005
"When the cat is away, the military mice will play."

Jimmy Carter - September 15, 1980
"The sun doesn’t shine on the same dog’s back every day."

Ronald Reagan - November 22, 1985
"He who plays with a Nicaraguan cat must expect to be scratched."

John Edwards - August 31, 2008
"He who falls in puppy love leads a dog’s life."

Colin Powell - July 23, 2004
"If you lie down with dogs, you’ll end up with fleas."

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