Another Election, Eh?

Well, here we go again. Thanks to Stephen Harper, we’re having yet another federal election. This will be the third one in four years which you might think would try the patience of the average Canadian voter. But apparently it turns out you’d be wrong as these representative views suggest.

John McNee of St. John’s, Newfoundland couldn’t be happier there’s another election. "It’s what I live for," said McNee. "The ceaseless carping by party leaders, the oh-so scintillating debates and the endless broken promises. What’s not to love?"

Harriet Simcoe of Victoria, B. C. also seems to be looking forward to the upcoming race. "Yes, I can hardly wait," said Simcoe. "I think the government was wasting way too much money on education, heath care and road building. It’s about time we got back to spending tens of millions of dollars on an election."

Harold Sneed of Toronto echoes those views and is apparently delighted that the election has begun. "There just wasn’t that much interesting on TV right now," said Sneed. "I guess some of the regular shows will be showing new episodes soon. But, in the meantime, there’s nothing like news coverage of the campaign to keep me rivetted to the television screen."

Sally Winston of Fredericton, New Brunswick is more relieved than ecstatic about the election call. "I recently ran out of sleeping pills," said Winston. "And my doctor is reluctant to prescribe me more. But now I don’t have to worry. All I have to do is record the upcoming leaders’ debate and watch five minutes of it anytime I need help falling asleep."

Michel Bastien of Trois Rivieres, Quebec wonders why Stephen Harper waited this long to go to the polls. "Everyone here in Quebec agrees that it’s really boring having electoral peace," said Bastien. "Quebeckers just don’t feel quite right unless our leaders are constantly picking at the separatist scab. Otherwise, how do you know you’re really alive?"

Harry Masters of Fort McMurray, Alberta was beside himself with joy regarding the election call. "We’ve got a lot of important work to do exploiting the tar sands and polluting the atmosphere," said Masters. "But with Parliament in session, we always have to answer to the government. With these clowns on the road for five weeks, it’s smooth sailing for us."

The only sour note heard from our correspondents was from a S. Dion of Ottawa who claims Canadians don’t want an election at this time. If nothing else, it’s clear that Mr. Dion definitely doesn’t want one.