Bush Bashers Banished

As Hurricane Gustav wreaked havoc on the Gulf Coast, The White House luxuriated in the knowledge that President Bush would finally get the credit he deserved for his previous plan of inaction during and after Katrina. Although New Orleans has again suffered damage, it is far less extensive than it would have been if those calling for a quick and thorough rebuilding of the city had gotten their way.

"I think the effects of Gustav speak volumes about my approach to disaster relief," said Bush. "If we had jumped in and spent billions three years ago to repair the damage caused by Katrina, then all the new stuff that got built would now be damaged or destroyed."

Citing past unsung political heroes like Millard P. Fillmore and Warren G. Harding, President Bush stressed that oftentimes the best course of action is to simply do nothing.

"Sure, I could have ordered National Guard troops in before Katrina hit," said the President. "And we could have rebuilt all kinds of things after the storm. But by doing nothing, I was able to avert untold billions in additional damage over and above what Gustav caused."

Hurricane Gustav finally brings vindication to Michael D. Brown, the former director of FEMA who resigned after Hurricane Katrina. Contacted at his office at InferX Corporation, the CEO of the security technology company was only too happy to talk.

"When President Bush congratulated me for doing a heck of a job," said Brown. "Both he and I knew what he meant."

"I could have rushed in and done all kinds of things to help in New Orleans after Katrina ," said the man affectionately known as Brownie. "But we both knew that such expenditures would soon be washed away by the next major storm. Doing nothing went against my nature but it was definitely the right thing to do."

Apparently President Bush’s post-Katrina plan was only one of several brilliant, but as yet unacknowledged, strategies to save the country. Mr. Bush has so far been reluctant to discuss those other strategies, simply taking the position that history will eventually exonerate him.

"I just don’t think it’s appropriate for me to take credit for solutions that have yet to play out," said the President. "Granted, it’s tough to listen to the media criticism day in and day out knowing that I will eventually be proved right."

"Let’s just say that if we find a gigantic nuclear bomb buried in the sand in Iraq," said Bush. "Or if it turns out that permanent tax cuts for the rich provide untold benefits to the poor, then I won’t be the one to say ‘I told you so’."