Plessy and Ferguson

The latest edition of CBS’s reality show "Survivor" will pit four racially segregated teams against one another: the Caucasians, the African-Americans, the Hispanics and the Asian-Americans. Some critics have decried the new show as an exercise in racism. But if it’s a ratings hit, look for the early release of these other racially-segregated TV offerings currently in production:

Plessy and Ferguson
This updated version of "The Odd Couple" features oddball roommates Oscar Plessy and Felix Ferguson. Oscar’s a white slob whereas Felix is a black neat freak. Since Oscar owns the house, Jim has to play by his rules. Hilarity ensues when Oscar gets annoyed at Felix’s attempts to change those rules. In the pilot episode, Oscar enforces his new "separate but equal" doctrine and forces Felix to only use the bathroom in the basement.

Everybody Hates Daniel Lopez Jefferson Chan
Everybody’s least favorite mixed race child tries each week to find a new home with one of his relatives. Danny’s dad, Michael Chan, the product of a Caucasian-Asian coupling and his Afro-Hispanic mom, Rosita Jefferson, are divorced and neither wants to raise their multiracial son. Things go from bad to worse as each week Danny inadvertently manages to alienate another of his racially pure grandparents.

Who Klux Klan?
Quizmaster David Duke hosts this season’s newest quiz show featuring two white contestants trying to guess which one of three hooded, white-sheeted panellists is not Caucasian. By asking racially sensitive questions and taunting the panellists with racial epithets, contestants try to "out" the non-white and thereby qualify to compete in the Lightning Lynching Round.

The New NBA
One lucky network will win the rights to televise a completely restricted National Basketball Association. Four racially-divided, six-team divisions will allow roundball fans to cheer on their favorite race-based team. Look for a highly competitive brand of intra-divisional basketball, at least until the playoffs start.

The New NHL
The four-division concept may have to be tweaked a bit when it comes to professional hockey. Current plans call for 23 teams of white players and one team comprising blacks, Asians and Latinos. To achieve more racial balance, the NHL may be asked to merge with the NFL, Major League Baseball or the downtown core of any major North American city.

Camp Treblinka
"Hogan’s Heros" meets "Animal House" in this hilarious new sitcom set in an inner city summer camp for kids. Viewers will enjoy New York City’s downtown interracial high jinks as Caucasians, African-Americans, Asians and Latinos battle it out to see who wins the right to beat up the Jews.