An occasional consumer advice column
for those in need of computer assistance:
Dear Computer Guy:
I live in Washington, D. C. and for the last eight months I’ve been
using Trump I as my operating system.
Despite experiencing a number of problems, I’ve still been pleased with this OS
due primarily to the various rebates and tax refunds promised. Should I stick
with Trump I for the next few years?
Wondering in Washington
Dear Wondering:
Consider yourself lucky; you’re one of the few Trump I users who hasn’t been burned. What started out as a
promising new OS earlier this year has turned into a bug-infested, error-prone system.
The rollout of the heavily-promoted Repeal
and Replace patch never occurred and the oft-touted Mexican Wall subroutine appears now to be a non-starter.
Recent defections from the company that makes this product suggest that
it is definitely in decline. Among others, they’ve lost their National Security
Advisor, Chief of Staff, Communications Director and Chief Strategist and rumor
has it that more bodies are looking to jump ship.
If you can squeeze a few more months of useful life out of Trump I, hang on for now. But if the
company goes out of business, you may want to take a look at the Pence operating system as a potential temporary
fix. In the meantime, I strongly recommend that you uninstall Twitter from any
of your devices.
The Computer Guy
Dear Computer Guy:
Many years ago, I purchased the Clinton
word processing software package. It gave me reliable service for most of the nineties
but I haven’t used it now for over fifteen years. I hear some folks talking
about a new Clinton 2.0 version. Is
it as good as the original?
Wordless in
Seattle
Dear Wordless:
That’s a tough question. First of all, let’s be clear. Clinton 2.0 is a completely different
product from version 1.0. Basically, only the name is the same. Whereas, for
its time, Clinton 1.0 had all the
bells and whistles and lots of marketing pizazz, version 2.0 is definitely not
as flashy although undoubtedly more stable.
Some beta testers in New York said they liked the trial version of Clinton 2.0 that was offered in their
state during the previous decade although they were apparently less impressed
with the recent upgrade called Secretary
of State. Still others have questioned the reliability of the software
package’s technical support. Some users have reported a repeated failure by the
company to admit past programming and e-mail errors and to rectify clearly
faulty positions.
On the other hand, it appears that purchasers of Clinton 2.0 will still have access to version 1.0 as well. However,
since it’s still not clear whether the two versions are even compatible, it may
be wise to hold off and check for the availability of the new Sanders software package or any one of
a number of other younger progressive options currently in development.
The Computer Guy
Dear Computer Guy:
I’ve been having trouble with viruses, spam and pop-ups in my e-mail. No
matter how many anti-virus packages I employ, I still get hit with a full
in-box and some nasty, nasty bugs like trumpjr17, jkushner101 and russiagate99.
What steps can I take to protect myself?
Vulnerable in Virginia
Dear Vulnerable:
I sympathize with your situation. It seems that ever since 2015, there
has been a rapid increase in these types of computer bugs. At present, dozens
of varieties have been identified with more reported to be on the way including
the very powerful putinspy01 virus. The good news is that all of these bugs work
only on computers using the Trump I operating
system and, once it is taken off the market, the virus problem should quickly
disappear.
If you can’t wait that long, there are certain measures you can take to
immediately secure your PC or laptop including two off-the-shelf fixes called Impeachment and Amendment25. Unfortunately, neither item is currently available in
stores.
The Computer Guy
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