Sunday, May 21, 2017

Donald Trump Deserves An "A"

     In an interview earlier this year on Fox News, Donald Trump assessed his presidency and gave himself an “A” for achievement. Crazy as that sounds, maybe he’s right.
     When it comes to Mr. Trump, the letter “A” pretty much says it all. I don’t think anyone could challenge his ownership of English language words beginning with that prefix.
     First of all, the man is definitely “atypical” as in “not typical; not conforming to the type; irregular; abnormal.” Even considering the likes of Millard Fillmore and George W. Bush, Donald Trump’s words and actions fall far outside the realm of typical presidential behavior.
     It’s also pretty clear that America’s 45th president is “atonal” in that his performance is marked by an “absence of key or tonal center.” Whatever The Donald says or does tends to strike a strident chord with most people.
     One might also conclude that Mr. Trump is “asymmetrical” as in “not identical on both sides of a central line; unsymmetrical; lacking symmetry.” When it comes to balance or logic, Trump’s positions are all over the grid. You could even call him “alogical” as in “beyond the scope of logic or logical reasoning.”
     Likewise, Trump is “awry” as in “away from the proper or expected direction; amiss; wrong.” In fact, given his history of misspeaking, it’s probably time to change the word “amiss” to “amister” in his honor.
     Mr. Trump is also “aloud” in that he sometimes speaks “with a loud voice; loudly.” It might even be fair to say that he talks “bigly” as in “boastfully; haughtily.”
     Then, of course, there’s “addlebrained” as in “having a muddled or confused mind; foolish, silly or illogical.” Given his contempt for facts and logical reasoning, he qualifies on all counts.
     There can be little doubt that Mr. Trump is “amoral” as in “having no moral standards, restraints or principles; unaware of or indifferent to questions of right or wrong.” From his genital grabbing to his sexist slights to his demeaning of war heroes to his stiffing of contractors, Trump is definitely amoral with a capital “A.”
     It may not be intentional but Trump definitely has the ability to “amuse” as in “to cause mirth, laughter or the like.” It’s a fine line, however, since his actions also have the power to “arouse”, “annoy” and “alarm.”
     Finally, The Donald seems to qualify as America’s first “aliterate” president in that he is “a person who is able to read but rarely chooses to do so.” For better or worse, the nation’s fate now rests with someone whose only sources of information are TV, Twitter and the last person he spoke to.
     There are some who might claim that prefixing the word “hole” with the letter “A” describes Trump best of all but that’s beyond the scope of this inquiry. Let’s just say that he more than qualifies as an “A”-rated president and deserves to wear a giant, scarlet “A” on his chest.

     Next week, we’ll examine the arguments of those who say Trump only deserves a “C” since he’s a “conman”, a “cheat” and a “charlatan.” Those looking to assess the letter “F” will have to wait until the 2020 election.

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