Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Bjork Bails Out Iceland

Noted Icelandic warbler Björk has now become famous for something more than her singing after bailing out her homeland. Having become the world’s first nation to effectively declare bankruptcy, Iceland now can thank their most famous citizen for saving it from complete annihilation.

"We are eternally grateful to Björk for saving our herring, so to speak," said recently appointed lesbian Prime Minister Johanna Sigurdardottir. "I don’t know where we’d be without her."
For her part, the once-be-swanned crooner said she was happy to help her native land escape what appeared to be a trustee sale to the highest international bidder.

"I love my country too much to allow it to fall into foreign hands," said the plaintive songstress. "Especially after I heard that Donald Trump had put in a bid."

The isolated island nation previously known only for fish and geothermal heating had enjoyed a five-year ride as a high-risk player in the field of international finance. But all that success came crashing down in the wake of the current world recession.

Former President Olafur Ragnar Grímsson stated that there was plenty of blame to go around for Iceland’s spectacular failure.

"I think part of it had to do with bad timing and irrational exuberance," said Grímsson. "But you can’t discount the fact that maybe herring fisherman becoming bankers might have played a part."

Whatever the reason, Iceland is now surprisingly poised to make a comeback. thanks to the generosity of Björk.

"I would have liked to have helped," said Iceland’s first billionaire Björgólfur Thor Björgólfsson. "But my money went the way of the dodo. So I’m glad that Björk was able to step in."

Former editor Gunnar Smári Egilsson and history professor Gudmunder Hálfdánarson agree that Björk’s bailout was a Hail Mary move that saved the day.

"She’s a saint," said Egilsson. "That’s right," concurred Hálfdánarson. "Let’s face it; she was our last fungible resource."

Given Björk’s amazing resurrection of Iceland, President Barack Obama has made some tentative enquiries to see if the Nordic warbler could work her magic on the United States.

"I’m sure she’d love to help if she could," said grocery store magnate Jön Asgeir Jóhannesson. "But as far as I know, she can only work miracles for people with normal names that have at least three S’s, two accents and one umlaut."

No word yet on whether Björk will be able to bail out Denmark, Russia or Turkey.

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