Wednesday, August 20, 2008

McCain Forgets Running Mate Pick

Looking to capture the momentum from Barack Obama, presumptive Republican presidential nominee John McCain today planned to announce his vice presidential running mate. Unfortunately, Senator McCain forgot who he had chosen.

"I had the name right here," said McCain pointing to his shirt pocket. "But then I took the shirt off, put it in the laundry hamper and now I can’t find it."

Blaming the snafu on his wife Cindy, the aging Arizona senator berated his wife for her overly-zealous cleaning habits.

"If she’d just leave things well enough alone," said McCain. "I could have found that shirt and found the slip of paper with my vice presidential pick on it. But now that it’s gone through the wash, you can barely read what’s on it."

Campaign aides have been of little assistance since none was clearly informed of the senator’s choice for running mate. Apparently McCain did tell his team that he had chosen "some guy" and that he had definitely decided that it wouldn’t be that "jerk Huckabee." But apart from that, McCain’s supporters have no more clue as to who he had chosen than McCain himself.

Normally a presidential candidate confers with potential running mates before making his selection. However, in this case, none of the leading contenders would confirm or deny having been asked to run by McCain.

"I think he called me last week," said 84-year old Alaska Senator Ted Stephens. "But that was so long ago and I can’t recall what the heck we spoke about. I think John mentioned something about getting together for the early bird special at The Olive Garden near the Capitol Building to discuss something important but I can’t say for sure. In fact, as I recall, I fell asleep that day and missed our dinner meeting altogether."

The McCain campaign team has decided to postpone the vice presidential announcement until next week. It’s hoped that this will give the senator time to either remember who he picked or to find his misplaced reading glasses to help him read the paper that went through the wash.

According to McCain, they should be right next to his pill bottles where he always leaves them. Unless, of course, his wife Cindy moved them again.

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