Sunday, August 03, 2008

Bush Picks Books For His Library

As the final months of his second term wind down, President Bush is finding that he has more and more free time on his hands. And much of that free time is being spent planning for his presidential library.

"To be honest, I wasn’t that keen on a library at first," said the President. "I’ve never been much of a reader. But apparently Congress won’t authorize funds for a presidential bait and tackle shop."

However, the more President Bush considered the library option, the more he reportedly warmed to the idea. As things now stand, the final building plans are basically complete and all that remains is the selection of books.

"You know, I’ve been pretty busy being president," said Mr. Bush. "And consequently I haven’t had time to read everything that passed by my desk or even finish the odd book that I started."
Number one on the President’s catalogue list is "The Pet Goat."

"Yeah, I started reading that one on 9/11 as I recall," said Mr. Bush. "But I never got a chance to finish it. I’d sure like to know how it ends."

"Another volume I’d like to read is that presidential daily briefing Condi’s always talking about," said Bush. "You know the one entitled ‘Bin Laden determined to strike in U.S.’ I hear it’s got a lot of interesting stuff in it."

"Then there’s that book Bill Clinton gave me just before I took office," said Bush. "It’s called ‘Presidenting for Dummies.’ I never did get a chance to read it. Maybe when I retire I can finally have a look at it."

"There’s lots of other books I’d like to read when I get time," said the President. "Ones like that UN report about the absence of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and that National Intelligence Estimate report that supposedly says Iran stopped its nuclear weapons program five years ago."

But until President Bush leaves office, Vice President Cheney has advised him against reading outdated volumes such as those and to instead concentrate on the tasks at hand like handing out more tax cuts and untendered contracts to his friends.

"Until January 20th, I’m just not going to have time to read much of anything," said President Bush. "Frankly, I’ll be lucky to finish the book sitting on my night stand called ‘My Lame Duck’."

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