Consumer Reports's Presidential Issue

"Consumer Reports" rates the 2008 Presidential models:

The Barack Obama
From the Henry Ford school of candidates, the Obama comes in any color you’d like so long as it’s black. And that may be its biggest shortcoming. Although few consumers will publicly admit it, many like their cars the same way they like their milk: white.
Despite that handicap, the Obama seems to be catching on with the public. It has a young, sleek styling with impressive initial performance. Among all the candidates we tested, the Obama was the fastest to go from zero to one thousand delegates.
However, consumers should be wary of the Obama’s ability to finish. Although it still sounded smooth at the end of our test run, the suspension seemed a bit weak and tended to be easily thrown off by a few dirty tricks.

The John McCain
Ironically, this model actually does appear to be your father’s Oldsmobile. The styling on the McCain is old to the point of being almost retro. The lines are straight and its gas milage can only be described as conservative.
When we first tested the McCain eight years ago, we found it to be moderate in most categories. The 2008 model initially appeared to be similar in output and performance. However, after a few laps around our test track, we found the McCain had a definite tendency to pull to the right.
The McCain’s major disadvantage is that it has been built using the discredited Bush chassis. Unless it can adopt a whole new position on that frame or it can ditch that chassis entirely, it looks to be beaten by every other candidate out there, even the Democrats.

The Hillary Clinton
The Clinton claims to be the best performing candidate with a track record second to none. Its handlers claim that it has the experience to blow the doors off the competition.
However, when we looked under the Clinton’s hood, we found the promised performance to be somewhat lacking. The claimed experience turns out to be little more than a few laps around someone else’s Oval Office.
Although the Clinton has won a race or two on its own, it owes much of its success to its big-muscled predecessor, the Bill Clinton. It remains to be seen if its spunky four-cylinder engine can provide the same results as its big-blocked forerunner.
In past years, we’ve recommended at least one of the competing models and even check-rated the occasional entry as a "best buy." However, after our picks of the Al Gore in 2000 and the John Kerry in 2004 were bypassed by consumers for the surprisingly lightweight and unreliable George W. Bush, we are reluctant to give our seal of approval to any of the current crop. This year, we recommend you just close your eyes, hold your nose and choose one. After all, in the end, it really doesn’t matter since you’ll still be taken for a ride.