The Story Of W

An excerpt from "The Story of W", an anonymous insider’s tell-all account of the Bush Administration:

It’s time to tear the cover off the Bush Administration and I’m just the guy to do it. But just to be safe, I’m going to use a sudanym or a name de plumy or whatever the heck you call it. I’m going to write under an assumed name; that’s all I’m saying.

I can’t tell you who I am but I can tell you that I had a fairly responsible position in The White House. I didn’t make any of the major decisions but I was there when some of them were made.
Now a lot of people are picking on President Bush. They’re saying that he’s a bad guy, that he didn’t really apply himself and that he made a lot of bad choices.

That’s really unfair and I resent those characterizations. Not because it’s got anything to do with me but because they’re unfair criticisms of George W. Bush who I happen to know is a great guy.

Everyone’s always blaming Mr. Bush for things like Iraq, Afghanistan, Katrina, tax cuts for the rich, the huge national debt, the high price of gasoline and on and on and on. That’s just not fair. Heck, most of the time, the President didn’t even know about those things.

From what I can tell, it was guys like Dick Cheney and Karl Rove and Donald Rumsfeld who were stirring up all the trouble. I think they were doing all the thinking and planning and deciding and then, after the fact, they’d tell the President what they’d done. But by then, it was too late and he had to take responsibility or they threatened to tell everyone how things really worked in The White House. At least that’s the way I remember it.

What’s really unfair is that those guys got to leave without taking all the blame. First Donald Rumsfeld jumped ship and then Karl Rove bailed out. I think the only reason that Dick Cheney stayed is he figured the president might resign, too, and then he’d get to take over. But I fooled him on that one or I mean the president fooled him on that one.