Wednesday, March 26, 2008


Look up in the late August Denver night sky. It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s Superdelegate!

Superdelegate looks and sounds just like any other delegate. But he’s not. Unlike ordinary convention-goers, he has special powers of selection.

Whereas regular delegates are committed to vote for only one candidate, Superdelegate is unrestrained by the will of the people. He is free to choose whoever he wants for the good of the Party.

Superdelegate was born twenty-six years ago from a union of his parents, Geraldine of Ferraro and James of Hunt. He secretly lives as an ordinary Congressman or Democratic Party functionary and only appears as Superdelegate when the Party calls for his help every four years.

Before Superdelegate was born, the Party had been threatened by the will of ordinary delegates. In messy gatherings called conventions, they would vote to choose a Presidential nominee.

But being mere mortals, the ordinary delegates often chose foolishly and unwisely. They allowed the candidate with the most committed votes to win leading to such uninspired choices as McGovernman and Boy Carter.

Now the Party convention is again faced with a potential crisis. The committed delegates are unthinkingly riding a wave of emotion and charisma, looking to choose a new superhero called Osamaman to be the next nominee.

Osamaman is young and dynamic and possesses that most desired of superpowers: the ability to change. Whatever the issue, whatever the situation, Osamaman will promise to change it.

But another contender, Hillary Girl, wants to defeat Osamaman. She says he is too young, too inexperienced and not ready to govern from day one. She is asking for Superdelegate’s help to block Osamaman’s powers of change.

The choice is crucial because whoever wins this contest must face the Republican’s warrior, McCain the Ancient One. Superdelegate knows that Hillary Girl has the experience and deserves to wear the mantle of Democratic champion. But even Superdelegate has his limitations.

If exposed to the dreaded "democracy", Superdelegate’s powers weaken and he has no choice but to accede to the wishes of the majority. Against his better judgment, he may be forced to cast his vote for Osamaman and hope that his vaunted charisma can defeat the straight-talkingAncient One.

Look for the exciting November issue of your favorite comic book "Superdelegate and The Justice League" to find out who will win this titanic struggle.

1 comment:

Josh Goller said...

Haha, I like the photo. Superdelegate is my new favorite superhero!