Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Honor Thy Father

Did Mr. Bush ask his father for any advice? "I asked the president about this. And President Bush said, ‘Well, no,’ and then he got defensive about it," says Woodward. "Then he said something that really struck me. He said of his father, ‘He is the wrong father to appeal to for advice. The wrong father to go to, to appeal to in terms of strength.’ And then he said, ‘There's a higher Father that I appeal to.’"- 60 Minutes interview with Bob Woodward

George W. Bush: Dear God, help me out of this mess in the Middle East.
God: Look, George, I never gave you any advice on Iraq. This was your own doing.
George W. Bush: But Lord, I specifically remember standing in front of the barbecue at my Crawford ranch and asking you for a sign if I should invade Iraq. And then flames shot up from the grill.
God: If you check, I think you’ll find that barbecue has an automatic starter.
George W. Bush: Boy, I wish I’d known that at the time.
Allah: It’s too bad you didn’t ask me. I would have told you to take a pass on Iraq.
George W. Bush: Who is that?
Allah: I’m God, George. Just a slightly different incarnation.
George W. Bush: This is confusing. What am I supposed to do now?
Buddha: Try to stay in the moment, George. Be mindful of the world around you and try not to get caught up in desire and material goals.
George W. Bush: Jumping Jehosaphat! You scared me. Who am I talking to now?
Buddha: I, too, am your Father, George. Listen to all of the spiritual voices and they will bring you wisdom.
George W. Bush: Holy cow! One at a time, please!
Vishnu: Easy on the sacred cow references, George. Can you hear me?
George W. Bush: Yes I can hear you but how many of you are there?
Vishnu: That’s not important, George. What is important is an awareness of birth, life and death. You seem to be concentrating too much on the last one.
George W. Bush: Help!
Dick Cheney: Wake up, George. You’re having a nightmare.
George W. Bush: Boy, that was really scary. There were all these gods and they were telling me different things and I didn’t know what to do about Iraq and.....
Dick Cheney: Relax, son. Just leave everything to me.
George W. Bush: Thanks, Dad.

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