Halloween Movies

Traditionally, Hollywood likes to roll out its latest horror films just before Halloween. This year is no exception except that they all seem to have a decidedly political twist. Take a look at these upcoming scary offerings:

A Nightmare on Pennsylvania Avenue
When her best friend Tina loses her job, Nancy suspects that there is someone evil behind the deed. The trouble is that whenever she has a chance to democratically change her country and render the unknown creature impotent, she falls asleep at the switch and votes over and over again for a monster named Freddy W. Krueger. Every four years, W returns to cut taxes, social spending and military effectiveness in one of the scariest slasher films of all time.

Tuesday the 7th
This latest installment in the "Friday the 13th" series takes a novel twist on the triskaidekaphobia theme. Jason’s back and this time he plans to do his killing on the 7th, November the 7th that is. Jason plays a Republican operative sent to make sure the Democrats never get back in the House. With help from his creepy pals Rove and Cheney, Jason scares enough Democratic voters away to ensure a truly frightening Republican Congress for years to come.

The Kondo of Dr. K
Loosely based on the classic thriller "The Island of Dr. Moreau", this remake features an aging diplomat cum gunslinger named Dr. K who has created a menagerie of bizarre foreign policy creatures on a remote island in the middle of the Potomac River. Presidents and Secretaries of State alike can’t resist visiting Dr. K’s condo and feasting on such deadly diplomatic delights as "spreading democracy in the Middle East", "send more troops", "stay the main course" and "axis of evil."

Rummy’s Baby
Born in a secret Defense Department coven, Rummy’s baby is thought by some to be the reincarnation of the devil. However, the creature turns out to be something even worse: a misguided misfit of a war called Iraq. Conceived by a secret cabal of warlocks called neo-conservatives, Iraq becomes the baby that no one will admit fathering. As it grows in size and terror, Rummy’s baby engulfs not only the entire American budget but most incumbent Republican Congressmen as well.

The Grudge 3
"The Grudge 2" is out now for this Halloween season but "The Grudge 3" is already in production for a fall 2008 release. The cursed house that was featured in the first two movies is back except this time it’s a big white house in the middle of Washington. The tortured sounds coming from the building only hint at the unspeakable acts that have occurred there over the last six years. A trio of ghostbusters named Al, John and Hillary use every trick in the book to try to take back the house and cleanse it of its evil spirits.

Psycho Korea
In the tradition of the great Hitchcock thriller, "Psycho Korea" features an odd loner with a scary, scary secret to hide. Kim is an aging, leisure-suited male living out his days in a fortress-like institution somewhere near Pyongyang. When outsiders try to track Kim down, he threatens them with old communist slogans and new nuclear bombs. The R-rated version of the movie shown in American theaters is missing Kim’s shower scene which those who have seen it say is the scariest five minutes on film.

Campaign of the Living Dead
They once controlled the world but now they only haunt the night. Reanimated corpses called Republicans seek to control Washington by using everything from soft money to supersized lies. A small, brave band of Democrats tries to fight off the living dead but are eventually defeated by attack ads and their own missing platform. They try to take refuge in a nearby place called the Senate only to be driven back to anonymity.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre Redux
When their car breaks down outside a desolate ranch near Crawford, Texas, a group of young Americans goes looking for help. Instead of a friendly face, however, they run into a chainsaw-wielding madman who’s bent on destruction. Not only does he clear brush, he also savagely cuts everything from education to social services to taxes for the rich thereby ensuring a bleak future for his victims.