Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Back In Black

" Conrad Black wants to be a Canadian once more and he is working on regaining his citizenship."
- The Globe and Mail, September 26, 2006


Mr. Conrad Black October 1, 2006
Baron of Crossharbour
London, England

Dear Mr. Black:

Receipt is acknowledged of your request for reinstatement of Canadian citizenship. Before proceeding further with your request, it will be necessary to complete the enclosed form CITIZN-REINST-004 in triplicate and return it to the address noted on the reverse.

Yours truly,

A. Bureaucrat


Name_____________________ Mr.____ Ms.____ Lord ____

Address _____________________________________

Did you previously hold Canadian citizenship? Yes__ No __

When did you lose Canadian citizenship? __ /__ /____ (dd/mm/yyyy)

How did you lose Canadian citizenship? (please check each appropriate selection)
__criminal conviction
__pompous renunciation
__temporarily misplaced
__pointless pursuit of peerage
__engaged in frivolous litigation

In order to qualify for reinstatement will you undertake to

1) Visit Canada no more than twice a year Yes__ No__
2) Keep your wife in England Yes__ No__
3) Lose 30 pounds Yes__ No__
4) Leave any titles at the border Yes__ No__
5) Not purchase any Canadian media outlets Yes__ No__
6) Learn one or both of Canada’s official languages at a
level comprehensible to ordinary Canadians Yes__ No__

The application must be accompanied by a petition signed by at least two resident Canadian citizens who agree to the requested reinstatement, one of whom must be a former Prime Minister who has served between 1993 and 2003.

Take notice that your application will be processed within 180 days. If your application is refused, you have the right to appeal that refusal to the Canadian Reinstatement of Citizenship Appeal Board who will hear your case when the skating rink in Hades is opened.

(applicant signs)

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