With the release of “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince”, J. K. Rowling’s publisher is poised to strike it rich once again. Other publishing houses are desperately trying to play catchup and piggyback on Rowling’s success which may explain these soon-to-be-released titles:
Karl Potter and the White House of Secrets
Karl is surprised to learn that he is not a regular boy but rather a political wizard. Enrolled in the West Wing Academy, young Karl helps his boss Dumbasadoor track down the Snitches and de-fang the media. The evil Dems try to defeat Karl but they are no match for his wizardry and obfuscation as he refuses to admit specifically identifying She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
George W. Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Like the phoenix from the title, young George always manages to snatch victory from the jaws of someone else’s victory. With the help of wizards like the Supremes in 2000 and the Fundamentalists in 2004, George captures the White House and goes on to cast an eight-year spell on the electorate. His powers grow as he magically eliminates a $500 billion surplus and starts a war without a single valid reason.
Donny Potter and the Prisoners of Gitmo
Young Donny wants to rid the world of terrorists. Unfortunately, in attempting to do so, he launches his own reign of terror. Rather than fight evil with good, Donny succumbs to the forces of darkness and suspends everything from ‘habeas corpus’ to the right to counsel. In the process, his constitution begins to fail and he becomes one of the very Dementors he was sworn to defeat.
Dick Potter and the Goblet of Oil
His childhood dream was to make his homeland self-sufficient in energy supplies. But good intentions often go awry. As Dick befriends one oil magician after another, he forgets his original goal. Luckily for Dick, he retains significant payments from his friends to at least ensure that his own personal gas tank will never go empty.
Paul Potterwitz and the Half-Saudi Prince
Young Paul has a plan. He wants to use his magical powers to spread freedom throughout the Middle East. By declaring war on one country after another, Paul hopes somehow to create peace by magically turning gators into Gatorade. He finally realizes that the answer to his problem isn’t freedom and democracy after all but rests instead with the evil one known as the Half-Saudi Prince.
Condi Potter and the Sorcerer’s War
Condi has one aim: to serve her sorcerer boss and find a reason, any reason, to justify his next war. Whether it’s magical yellow cake from Niger or the mysterious Iraqi weapons of mass destruction, she always knows just what to say to keep troops on the ground. Even when it turns out her reasons are false, her boss forgives her and promotes her beyond her level of incompetence.