“Several of President Donald Trump’s outside advisers have told him over the past week he requires neither a chief of staff nor a communications director….”
- CNN – March 30, 2018
Communications Director Hope Hicks is long gone so can Chief of Staff John Kelly be far behind? Look for these upcoming tweets from the President:
@realDonaldTrump: Goodbye John Kelly. Just like Jimmy Carter, I don’t need a chief of staff or a communications director. No one does these jobs better than me. Let Donald be Donald and let’s make the White House Great Again.
@realDonaldTrump: Don’t forget; your taxes are due on April 15th. Why does the IRS make it so difficult? I’m now the head of the agency because I’m great at doing taxes. Nobody avoids paying taxes better than me because I know the system so well.
@realDonaldTrump: A big thanks to Betsy DeVos for her efforts at the Department of Education. She gets a solid C+ but America deserves an A+ and that means me. I’m the smartest guy, a real stable genius who has a real degree from an Ivy League business school so I’ll fix our schools like real quick.
@realDonaldTrump: Sad Scott Pruitt had to go at the EPA. Sure he loves coal and doesn’t believe in climate change just like me but he couldn’t keep his hand out of the till. DT for EPA and let’s get back to coal-burning steam locomotives and a coal-fired furnace in the White House. Make America Dark Again.
@realDonaldTrump: I appreciate your efforts as Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo, but I no longer need your services. After all, who arranged that+ meeting with Little Rocket Man and threatened nuclear war against Iran? The Donald, that’s who.
@realDonaldTrump: A big thank-you and goodbye to John Bolton for his service as National Security Adviser but I’ll take it from here and without an ugly mustache (it’s gotta go, John; so ugly). I know national security better than anyone so I’ll do it alone and brief myself. You’ll be so secure you’ll be tired of being secure.
@realDonaldTrump: Ben Carson knows nothing about housing and I know everything about housing so, no surprise, I’m the new Secretary of Housing. Plus Ben blamed his wife for that $31,000 dining set purchase. I would never blame my wife for anything although maybe my ex-wives. LOL.
@realDonaldTrump: I’ve always said Jeff Sessions shouldn’t have recused himself. Well now Stupid Jeff is gone and I’m the new Attorney General. I’m not a lawyer but I know more than any lawyer since I’ve used so many of them over the years. If anyone disagrees, you’re sued!
@realDonaldTrump: Hey, Rod Rosenstein, I don’t need you anymore since I’m now the AG so, guess what, you’re fired. And while I’m at it, Robert Mueller, you’re fired, too. No collusion. Fake news. Witch hunt over.
@realDonaldTrump: I’m firing any remaining cabinet members and I appoint myself to any vacant positions although maybe Jared can be Chief Vassal or Court Jester or something. Since I’m like really smart, stupendously smart, I can do it all.
@EmperorDonald: That’s right. I’ve changed my Twitter handle. I now run the whole show. I don’t need anyone’s help except I still can’t seem to find the nuclear football.
@EmperorDonald: Found it. I’m going to attack Iran and North Korea. MAGA and KYAG (kiss your ass goodbye).
Twitter blows up. Trump blows up Twitter and who knows what else.