“The silent circle of assent. The boss in complete control.
The loyalty oaths. The us-versus-them worldview. The lying about all things, large
and small, in service to some code of loyalty that put the organization above
morality and above the truth.”
-
James Comey, A Higher Loyalty
On more than one occasion, Donald Trump
has been compared to a mob boss. Given his shady dealings and his insistence on
loyalty and total control, his organization does seem to bear some similarities
to the Mafia. But apparently actual mobsters have taken offense to these
comparisons.
Mr. Anthony “Nine Toes” Tonnucci, the new
head of the Anti-defamation League of Cosa Nostra, recently spoke out in
support of his membership.
“We in the Mafia have devoted our lives to
creating and maintaining certain standards of behavior, standards which we take
great pride in. To see a two-bit outfit like the Trump organization being
mentioned in the same breath as ours is not only troubling, it is also a huge
insult to our people.”
Although Mr. Tonnucci concedes that Mr.
Trump may have had connections at one time or another to New York mobsters, he wants
to make it clear that Trump’s actions were not in keeping with the ethical
guidelines of the mob.
“I know a lot of people have a negative
image of us,” said Tonnucci. “But for the most part, it is unjustified.
Although we may from time to time break certain so-called laws or even limbs,
we take pride in always following our own strict internal rules.”
As an example, Mr. Tonnucci pointed to
contractual dealings between members.
“Sure, we may not always comply with
statutory requirements. From time to time, we may even exact certain financial
or physical penalties against our competitors. But unlike that schlub Trump, we
always honor our contracts (including the killing ones) and make our payments
in full.”
It seems that members of the
Anti-defamation League also have a bone to pick with Donald Trump when it comes
to how he runs his business.
“As you know,” said Tonnucci. “We
sometimes operate some less-than-kosher financial ventures but our ultimate
goal is always to eventually turn everything into a legitimate, aboveboard
business. In that regard, unlike that weasel Trump, we take pride in avoiding
corporate bankruptcies at all costs.”
Drawing parallels between the Trump family
and any of the New York families seems to also rub mob members the wrong way.
“While we know the Corleone family was
fictional,” said Tonnucci. “We do consider them to be one of us and therefore
take great offense when their name is slandered. In particular, it is offensive
to call Trump Don Donald. He is no Vito Corleone and to suggest otherwise is to
insult all great Mafia families.
“Likewise, to suggest his son Don, Jr. is
like Fredo Corleone is highly offensive. Although Fredo had his faults, they
were sins of omission unlike the sins of commission made by Trump’s kid. And to
say that Trump’s former lawyer Michael Cohen was like a mob attorney is
insulting both to the Mafia and to mob attorneys everywhere. To even suggest
that Cohen could wear the mantle of consigliere
is laughable.”
Apparently the League is not only
concerned with Trump’s domestic activities; they also take issue with his
foreign adventures and possible ties to the Russian mob.
“The Russian mob is not American,” said
Tonnucci. “Hell, they’re not even a real mob. That’s why we can’t abide any
suggested connections between them, President Trump and us. We have a
longstanding, hard-won image to protect and any dealing Trump may have had with
Russian mobsters does nothing but tarnish the reputation of our homegrown
mobsters. If Trump wants to truly make America great again, he should start by
calling out those Russian thugs and standing up for his own country’s top crime
bosses.”
When asked what he wants Mr. Trump to do
about all this, Tonnucci simply smiled and said: “Unless he likes sleeping with
the fishes, I think Mr. Trump knows what’s expected of him.”
No comments:
Post a Comment