Thursday is Election Day in Ontario and,
if you’re like many Ontarians, you’re finding it awfully hard to make up your
mind whether to vote at all, much less decide who you should actually cast your
ballot for.
This state of affairs is hardly surprising
given the less-than-stellar field of leadership candidates on offer. Yet we are
a democratic society, this is an election and it behooves us all in Ontario to
make our best efforts to select someone, anyone. As Melania Trump might put it,
we should “Be Best.”
If you’re still resistant, hear me out and
hopefully I can provide you some guidance as to who you should vote for. As I
see it, this election bears an uncanny resemblance to those we participated in
years ago to choose our class president in high school.
Think about it. Doug Ford is the popular
jock who doesn’t really care that much about platforms and policies. He’s
running on his personality and is appealing to the frat boy in all of us.
The
PC leader promises everything to everybody including tax cuts, hydro rate
decreases and gasoline price reductions at the same time he says we’ll get more
spending on heathcare and education. A detailed platform and costed policies
are for nerds and eggheads. Doug the jock wants you to once again enjoy a
buck-a-beer lifestyle in Ontario.
Kathleen Wynne, on the other hand, is that
nerdy egghead everyone in high school loved to hate. While she is undoubtedly
bright and experienced, she can’t help coming off like some old tyme schoolmarm
lecturing and hectoring one and all.
To her credit, she has the courage and
honesty to admit that her chances on Thursday are somewhere between zip, zero
and nada. But even when doing so, she can’t help complicate the situation by
urging people to vote Liberal, not to reelect her to Queen’s Park but rather to
allow her party to prevent the PCs or the NDP from forming a majority
government. If you’re parsing things that closely and voting strategically to
that degree, you’re likely as nerdy as her.
Finally, there’s Andrea Horwath, the
quintessential goody two shoes who just can’t help herself. Remember that girl
back in high school who supported every noble cause, went to bat for every weirdo
and loser and adopted every stray cat and dog? Well, that’s Andrea, the
conscience of the province.
And nobody likes a conscience. The last
thing you wanted in high school was to feel guilty about not doing your share
or somehow being less sainted than anyone else. Let Mother Theresa be Mother
Theresa but God forbid that she gets to run the show and rub it in our
collective face.
So what’s the answer? Well, just like high
school, pick your clique and vote accordingly. If you’re a jock or someone who
just likes to party, then vote for Mr. Party On himself: Doug Ford.
But if you see yourself as an informed
intellectual or what others call a policy wonk or what we all called a nerd
back in high school, then Kathleen Wynne’s your choice.
And if social causes, both real and lost,
are your thing, then Andrea Horwath is the gal for you. You might not be voting
for the winner but you’ll get a nice hit of sanctimony in doing so.
Maybe you’re saying this approach doesn’t
work for you, that you don’t see yourself fitting into any of these three
cliques. Fear not; that simply means that you’re a member of that final clique:
the rebels and outcasts. If that was your high school label then you can just
spoil your ballot or not vote at all or if you really want to let your freak
flag fly, vote Green.
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