Word of the Year

 

     Last December marked not only the end of the calendar year but also the beginning of the Word of the Year season. For example, the Oxford English Dictionary folks chose “youthquake” as their Word of the Year for 2017 and Mirriam-Webster selected “feminism.”

     Compared to previous years, the 2017 selections were pretty dull and unexciting. Nothing fun like past winners “truthiness”, “fake news” and “mansplain.”

     Maybe it’s time some of us stepped up to the linguistic plate, mixed a few metaphors and coined some interesting neologisms to ensure that, by next December, we’ll have some truly exciting candidates for 2018’s Word of the Year.

     In that vein, I offer the following creations:

turkeyfication

     Turkeyfication is the act of undermining and dumbing down governmental procedures and structures. It essentially turns an efficient, high-flying creature into a stupid, flightless bird. As in, Donald Trump has engaged in the turkeyfication of the federal government.

trollents

     In our modern digital age, many online publications provide their readers the opportunity to comment on columns and opinion pieces. Sometimes those comments are well thought out and instructive. Sadly, they are often ignorant ad hominem attacks written by the digital equivalent of the nasty troll living under the bridge. Hence the word trollents as in, he had nothing useful to add to the conversation so he simply slammed the author with a couple of trollents.

breitbart

     From the website of the same name, breitbart is a verb meaning to racialize, cuckify or otherwise demonize liberals, progressives or members of the establishment. As in, James breitbarted his opponent by repeatedly calling him a snowflake. See also “bannoned.”

celebrify

     The act of transforming the political system into one dominated by celebrities rather than those skilled in the political arts. Most recently evidenced by the speculation of a 2020 faceoff between Donald Trump and Oprah Winfrey. Example in use: “Homer Simpson’s entry into the race represents the nadir of the celebrification of Washington.”

coniker

     A mash-up of “con” and “moniker” gives us “coniker” which means a nasty nickname created to demean or belittle someone. Although conikers have been around for centuries (think Julius the Jerk or Stupid Socrates), Donald Trump is the acknowledged current master with negative gems like Low-energy Jeb, Crooked Hillary and Sloppy Steve.

statumcide

     If you kill your mother, that’s matricide. Murder a man? That’s homicide. So what do you call it when someone deliberately tries to end the life of an entire nation state? How about statumcide? “Given the antidemocratic and regressive actions of President Trump, he may be guilty of statumcide.”  See also “countrycide.”

aieio

     2018’s new acronym is pronounced “aye-eh-o.” It’s derived from the statement “artificial intelligence expedites inhuman order” and signifies the end of the reign of homo sapiens and the ultimate victory of the robots. It can even be pronounced letter by letter which echoes the children’s song “Old Macdonald Had a Farm” which pretty soon will have no human beings and no Mr. Macdonald.