Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Coulter Backs Hillary

Noted right-wing pundit Ann Coulter recently announced that, rather than vote for John McCain, she would cast her ballot for Hillary Clinton. Most thought this was just another over-the-top ruse by the foul-mouthed fulminator to undermine McCain’s support. No one thought that the cartoon-commentator would actually carry through with her threat.

Well it looks like Ann Coulter will remain true to her word and actually mark her "X" for Mrs. Clinton. Asked to comment on her election day plans, the wafer-thin wordsmith confirmed that she is going ahead with her previously unthinkable plan.

"Yeah, it started off as a joke," said the crypto-fascist neo-con. "But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense."

Apparently Ms. Coulter realized that she and Mrs. Clinton had more in common than she had previously imagined.

"You know, I don’t really care for her politics," said the thin-skinned political commentator. "Yet, surprisingly, I find that we are actually simpatico in so many ways."

Asked to elaborate, the professional television shrew detailed several reasons why she and Clinton might have a bond in sisterhood.

"First of all," said Coulter. "She’s really, really bitchy, just like me. I’ve gotta admire that kind of chutzpah in a fellow female. Then when I more carefully reviewed her record, I realized that she may actually have lied more times than I have. Definitely my kind of gal."

When pressed to say why she would support her ideological doppelganger, Coulter dismissed politics as a secondary consideration.

"Sure we disagree on many fundamental issues," said the screeching talking head. "But she has personality traits that, frankly, I find endearing. Like me, she created herself out of nothing. By simply yelling and shouting and calling other people names, she’s managed to achieve a status way beyond her abilities. Personally, I know how hard that is to do and I’ve gotta admire it."

Although this latest move by Coulter may jeopardize her status as a member in good standing of the conservative commentariat, she appears to be serious in her determination to "cast one for Hillary."

"She lies, she waffles and she plays dirty," said America’s favorite political harridan. "What’s not to like? Plus, we have one more thing in common that binds us together. We’ve both slept with Bill, assuming, of course, that she has."

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