Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Washington Weather

And now here’s tonight’s weather forecast for Washington and surrounding areas:

After six years of a generally overheated conservative weather pattern, look for some dramatic changes as liberal cold fronts from the northeast and mid-west move rapidly into the D. C. area.

If you look at our Doppler radar screen, you can see a dramatic cooling trend. The demarcation line between the existing high pressure area and the new low pressure system appears to bisect Pennsylvania Avenue. Houses to the east of that line will experience a dramatic temperature change while at least one white house to the west is strongly advised to prepare for strong winds and rapid reversals.

Over the next 100 hours, we can expect a number of significant weather events of a type not seen in Washington since the last century. First among those will likely be a new record high minimum in the wage sector. Look, too, for the new unstable weather pattern in the D. C. region to have dramatic effects as far east as Maryland, Delaware and Iraq.

Viewers are advised to be on the alert for false signs of impending calm weather. Intermittent calls for "common ground" and "bipartisanship" will be short-lived and will likely give way to more turbulence and a marked increase in retribution and presidential vetoes.

The instability of our local weather may also be affected by unsettled conditions to our immediate south in Virginia. Preliminary indications are that prevailing southerly winds will dramatically alter the makeup of at least one Capitol chamber in the city. However, a recount of primary meteorological statistics might forestall such an event. Our best estimate, at present, is a 51-49 chance of significant change.

Stormy weather is definitely on the horizon. At least one local defense barrier has already fallen and more may be at risk. Expect to see tax cuts rolled back and an increased likelihood of rain, wind and possibly even impeachment. Not great conditions for smooth sailing but perfect weather for lame ducks.

Given the upcoming meteorological uncertainties, it will no longer be possible for certain D. C. residents to stay the course. However, don’t look for those folks to cut and run any time soon. As was the case with Katrina, they may take a thumpin’ from this latest storm, but expect them to ride out the conditions for at least another two years.

Depending on which Washington house you reside in, tomorrow’s short term forecast is either sunny and optimistic or gloomy and overcast with occasional frost.

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