Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Stay the Course


FROM: K. Rove
RE: New slogan

Mr. President, we have a linguistic crisis. I’m not sure who’s to blame but I think we’ve lost "stay the course." And if "stay the course" is gone then "cut and run" is not long for this world.

I’m really sad to see "stay the course" go. It was probably our strongest and most ambiguous slogan. But there’s no time to "cry over spilled milk" so to speak. We need a new phrase and fast. Please consider these potential candidates:

We did it our way
By drawing on the legacy of that great American hero Frank Sinatra, this one connotes strength and single-minded determination. At the same time, it is suitably vague so that no one can pin you down as to what it actually means. Good for bashing Democrats, too, as in "We did it our way, not the Democrats’ way."

Peace with honor
Apparently this slogan has been used before although my staff couldn’t find out when and where. But I like it. It’s kind of like "As the Iraqis stand up, we’ll stand down" but with a nobler sentiment. Of course "peace with honor" is not in the cards. But by the time folks discover that, your term is over and we’re outta here.

Let them eat cake
I found this one on the Internet but I think it has possibilities. At first blush, I figured it might come across as too haughty and elitist. But if used properly against the Democrats, it may just have enough panache to keep them off balance. We’re still researching the phrase’s origins to make sure it has no negative connotations.

Are you or have you ever been a member of the Baathist Party?
As they say in football, the best defense is a good offense. Quick and repeated use of this one will knock the Democrats back on their heels. Of course they haven’t been members of the Baathist Party but their denials will make them sound like Saddam’s fellow travellers.

Après moi, le deluge
I don’t know what this one means but it’s foreign and that gives it a certain sophisticated "je ne sais quoi." I think it’s the French equivalent of "stay the course" which means that we can get our old favorite back without anyone even knowing.

We’re between Iraq and a hard place
It’s always good to inject a touch of humor into a desperate situation and this might be just the ticket. A little self-deprecation and a couple of laughs can go a long way. You could even combine it with "beat around the Bush" or "It’s all over but the shooting" for some really big yuks. Just remember not to overdo this one.

Mission accomplished
I know, I know. You’re probably saying to yourself: "Been there, done that." But there’s nothing wrong with a little recycling. Declare our mission in Iraq accomplished, fold up the tent and get the hell out.

Yours truly,

Boy Genius

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