Thursday, July 20, 2006

New Canadian Mottoes

There’s a move afoot to change Canada's national motto. Nothing major, mind you. In order to recognize our national Arctic Ocean border, some politicians would like to see one more "sea" added to "a mare usque ad mare" to make it "from sea to sea to sea."

But if we’re going to go to the trouble of changing our motto, why don’t we make it worth our while? Forget the new triple-sea slogan. Instead, let’s come up with something new, something more reflective of our national identity. Like one of these candidates:

* We’re NOT Americans!

* One Nation Underdog

* Canada: The Committee-Created Country

* Corn Flakes / Flocons de Mais

* 40 Billion Acres and a Mule

* We Asymmetrical Federalism

* The 19th Century Belongs to Us

* We’re Number Two!

* We Actually Like Curling

* Peace, Order and Lots and Lots of Government

* Two Loonies Make a Twonie

* Canada: The Dysfunctional Mosaic

* Mounties, Maples and Medicare

* Skates, Skis and Ski-Doos

* Ten Provinces and a Lot of Empty Space

* It’s Not So Bad, Eh?

* Two Months of Tough Sledding

* Deux ou Trois Nations

* The Defederated Federation

* Alberta Plus

And while we’re at it, why not re-write our provincial mottoes, too? As in:

Newfoundland and Labrador: Cod Help Us

Nova Scotia: Canada’s Pogey Playground

New Brunswick: Just Passing Through

Prince Edward Island: Spuds ‘N Suds

Québec: First Among Equals

Ontario: We Know Best

Manitoba: Wheat, Water & Winnipeg

Saskatchewan: Even Tommy Douglas Left

Alberta: Just Try and Stop Us

British Columbia: Everyone Ends Up Here Eventually

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