The GWB Record Club

Whether you’re a Democrat or a Republican, there’s no better time to join the GWB Record Club. With America’s biggest selection of record policy failures, we guarantee you’ll find what you’re looking for.

If you’ve been putting off joining or you’ve only recently become aware of Mr. Bush’s awesome records, don’t delay any longer. For a limited time only, we’ve got a special offer that you can’t afford to miss.

For only 1¢, we’ll give you your choice of any three of GWB’s record policy failures. All you have to do is agree to stay alert and spot at least one new policy failure in the coming year.

Whatever your preference, we have failed policy records in every genre from country (both eastern and western) to domestic to constitutional. We’ve got all the latest goofs and faux pas as well as a wide selection of classic failures.

Choose your three selections from any of these record screw-ups:

* Invading Iraq based on faulty intelligence
* Wiretapping without court orders
* Holding prisoners indefinitely without charges
* Torturing prisoners around the world
* Spending a $500 billion surplus
* Creating a $1 trillion debt
* Repeatedly cutting taxes for the wealthy
* Trying to torpedo Social Security
* Complicating a seniors’ drug plan
* Giving billions to the drug companies
* No-bid contracts for Halliburton and Bechtel
* Delaying Katrina hurricane relief

Many of these record blunders were co-written by noted policy artists like Donald Rumsfeld, Karl Rove and Paul Wolfowitz. And all of them were produced by famed neo-con producer Dick "Shooter" Cheney employing his world-renowned "wall of silence" technique.

Act now and we’ll include absolutely free Mr. Bush’s collection of golden oldies from his days before The White House. This special album includes "Insider Trading With Harken", "Gifting the Texas Rangers", "Born on Third and Thinks He Hit a Triple" and "My Personal Vietnam War Exit Strategy." Even if you’ve never heard the President’s early record before, you’ll find it surprisingly consistent with his later work.

Maybe you voted for Mr. Bush in 2000 and 2004 because you thought he was a regular guy. Perhaps you just figured it didn’t matter if you voted or not. Or maybe you’re one of those folks who didn’t know "compassionate conservative" was an oxymoron.

Whatever your reason for wanting to join, sign up now. With our recent 25% increase in membership, everybody wants to be part of the GWB Record Club. Offer valid until January 20, 2009.