O Cannabis

   

     Well, it’s official; as of October 17^th, recreational marijuana is legal in Canada. We’re the first G7 country to legalize weed and only the second worldwide to do so after Uruguay.

     The federal government and Prime Minister Justin Trudeau claim that the country is ready for this dramatic change and that everything is in place to ease the transition to a pro-bud nation. However, given that Canada’s provinces and territories are the ones responsible for regulating marijuana sales and use, it’s far from clear that it will be smooth sailing for weed aficionados. Each jurisdiction will have its own rules and regulations which may create confusion for those traveling throughout Canada, especially those under the influence.

     It’s likely that there will be lots of bumps to iron out in this new Cannabinoid Canada but those in charge seem to be up to the task. In order to minimize confusion and to harmonize marijuana laws from coast to coast to coast, it is rumored that the federal government will be taking the following steps:

*   Serious attempts will be made to standardize various provincial regulations. In the interim, the federal government will publish “The Dope Smokers’ Handbook” to help educate interprovincial travelers as to the cross-country differences.

*   The legal limit for carrying marijuana in public is 30 grams or about one ounce. The federal government is reportedly developing a new mini-scale phone app to help consumers stay within the legal limit.

*   Eventually, the Canadian government will also legalize marijuana edibles including cookies, chocolate and poutine.

*   Canada’s flag will be slightly altered to change the central red maple leaf to a red marijuana leaf.

*   Henceforth, the country’s national anthem will be revised from “O Canada” to “O Cannabis.”

*   Canada’s national symbol will be changed from the beaver to a stoned moose.

*   Canadian Thanksgiving will be moved from the second Monday in October to October 17^th. (Contrary to some rumors, 4/20 or April 20^th will not be proclaimed a national statutory holiday.)

*   Legislation is reportedly being drafted to severely limit marijuana use by federal politicians in Ottawa to ensure they maintain a high level of sobriety and productivity in Parliament. Some citizens are apparently lobbying against such proposed legislation on the assumption that the less politicians can do, the better.