tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-268873702024-03-13T08:19:52.592-04:00Dave's Political SatireA home for my political satireDavid Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.comBlogger610125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-77709623113136715152021-02-14T16:20:00.002-05:002021-02-14T16:20:26.635-05:00My Work Is Now On Medium<p> I recently joined the platform <a href="https://daretobeaverage.medium.com/">Medium</a> and am posting most of my work there. Check it out <a href="https://daretobeaverage.medium.com/">here</a>.</p>David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-79102643664178533392019-08-16T17:05:00.005-04:002019-08-16T17:05:42.175-04:00Humor TimesI've been negligent in updating this blog as most of my pieces are now getting posted to the site <a href="https://www.humortimes.com/">Humor Times</a>. To have a look at my posts on that site, click on this link to my <a href="https://www.humortimes.com/author/dmartin/">author page</a>.David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-86809867997329096432019-03-17T14:26:00.000-04:002019-03-17T14:26:50.537-04:00Open Carry<br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bM2egR6lrzg/XI6RGB6koxI/AAAAAAAABW0/aUaxPOSM5CQazfAwugRK7fTD7quRtEKLACLcBGAs/s1600/Open%2BCarry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="418" data-original-width="600" height="222" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bM2egR6lrzg/XI6RGB6koxI/AAAAAAAABW0/aUaxPOSM5CQazfAwugRK7fTD7quRtEKLACLcBGAs/s320/Open%2BCarry.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"> When it comes to Canada, most Americans
assume that there aren’t that many differences between our two countries. Sure,
we have socialized medicine, recognize the Queen of England, use the metric
system and say “Sorry” and “eh” a little too much. But beyond that, Americans
figure we’re basically just like them.</span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, not so fast, Americans. Looking
beyond Mounties, maple syrup and poutine, there are lots of subtle linguistic
differences that mark us as distinctly Canadian. Take the following examples:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">packing
heat</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the U. S.,
packing heat means carrying a firearm. In Canada, on the other hand, packing
heat means carrying a couple of hand warmers inside your gloves.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">double-double</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the U. S., double-double means two life
sentences for a capital crime. In Canada, it means a coffee with two sugars and
two creams.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">cold
one</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>South of the
border, it’s a name for a stiff in the morgue. Up north, it’s a chilled bottle
of beer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">rouge</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Americans recognize this as a cosmetic for
lips or cheeks. Canadians know it as a single point in Canadian football.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">open
carry</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the U. S.,
this means carrying your firearm in public. In Canada, it means carrying your
marijuana in public.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">loonie</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Americans use this word to describe a crazy
person. Canadians use it to describe our one-dollar coin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">trump</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the U. S., trump means the President. In
Canada, it means the chosen wild suit for a hand of bridge.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">25
degrees</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For
Americans, this is really cold. For Canadians, it’s pretty hot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">stars
and bars</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Diehard
southerners recognize this as the first national flag of the Confederacy.
Canadians, however, know it as </span><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">a northern midwinter pub crawl.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">homo</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A pejorative term in the U. S. for someone
who is gay. Not in Canada where it’s shorthand for whole milk.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">HMO</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Throughout the U. S., this stands for a
health maintenance organization. For Canadians, it’s a bit puzzling, perhaps a
capitalized misspelling of the name for whole milk?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">healthcare</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Americans recognize this as a type of
expensive insurance carried by some. Canadians see it as a free service
available to all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">heavy
duty battery</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>South of
the border, this is a form of serious physical assault. North of the border,
it’s an essential car part for winter driving.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">senator</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the U. S., a senator is an elected federal
officeholder who can do significant damage. A Canadian senator, on the other
hand, is an appointed federal officeholder who is generally harmless.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">extra
magazine</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A sometimes
illegal extension for handguns to dramatically increase the number of rounds an
American gun owner can fire. In Canada, an extra magazine is an additional
periodical located on the table in a doctor’s waiting room.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">locked
and loaded</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An American
uses this phrase to indicate that his firearms are ready for action. For a
Canadian, it means spending the night in the drunk tank for public
intoxication.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">melting
pot</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Americans
recognize this term as a description of their country’s immigration philosophy.
Canadians know it as a cooking appliance for making weed brownies.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">stand-your-ground</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In some parts of the U. S., stand-your-ground
refers to a legal doctrine justifying the shooting of unarmed individuals. In
Canada, it means the right to argue your point of view in the face of a strong
counterargument.</span><span style="text-align: center;"> </span></div>
<br />David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-32194435423889141362018-12-22T15:10:00.000-05:002018-12-22T15:10:04.842-05:00Letters To Santa<br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uokxSuhCszg/XB6aBMPOx4I/AAAAAAAABWU/pC0lOPV-AlEr9J5VJDkgjQ7kmsz_dI_jQCLcBGAs/s1600/Letters%2Bto%2BSanta.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="298" data-original-width="500" height="190" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uokxSuhCszg/XB6aBMPOx4I/AAAAAAAABWU/pC0lOPV-AlEr9J5VJDkgjQ7kmsz_dI_jQCLcBGAs/s320/Letters%2Bto%2BSanta.png" width="320" /></a></i></div>
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">It’s
December and that means boys and girls everywhere are writing to Santa to let
him know what they want for Christmas:<o:p></o:p></i></span><br />
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ho! Ho! Ho! It’s Santa Claus here and I’ve
got bags of mail from children all over the world including some special
letters from those living in Washington, D. C.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One little boy named Donnie T. seems to be
really interested in construction toys. He asked for a wall and wants Mexico to
pay for it. He also wants that new toy called Space Force and a new
Attorney-General who can pull the plug on any nasty enquiries. Unlike most
kids, Donnie says he wouldn’t even mind a little coal in his stocking. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A little girl named Melania T., who has
the same address as Donnie T., asks me to keep her Christmas gift requests
confidential. She’d like some blood red Christmas trees but number one on her
list is a special Ken voodoo doll with an orange face, a blond wig and some
extra-long needles.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mikey P. also lives in Washington,
apparently very near Donnie and Melania. Unlike Donnie, however, Mikey is not
hoping for a new Attorney-General. What he’d like instead are some new drapes
and furniture for something he calls the Oval Office.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Joey B. says he’s originally from Delaware
but has worked in Washington for many years. What he’d really like is a new
white house centrally located in D. C. that he can call his own. To get that
house, Joey says he also needs some anti-aging cream, a bit of plastic surgery
and a whole lot of luck.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bernie S. hails from Vermont but, like
Joey B., he’d like a shot at that centrally-located white house in Washington
as well. Bernie says he also wouldn’t mind the anti-aging cream, some plastic
surgery and maybe a new haircut.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bobby M. is writing to me for the first
time and says that he has never asked Santa for anything before but this year
he really, really, really needs a few more months to finish up his collusion
report. Bobby M. added a P. S. to his letter asking for a couple more
cooperating witnesses and a big batch of blank subpoena forms.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ivanka T. says she’s a little
uncomfortable writing to Santa since, strictly speaking, she’s Jewish. However,
she says she used to be a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">shiksa</i> and
therefore feels that I still owe her a wish or two from past Christmases.
Anyway, all Ivanka wants is a new hubby if hers should somehow end up in prison
in the coming year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hillary C. apparently lives in two houses
but she’s not happy with the one she has in Washington. She’d really like to
move into the big centrally-located white one everybody’s talking about but in
order to do that, she needs Santa to give her a do-over for 2016 and maybe a
ball gag for her husband.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Billy C. seems to be related to Hillary C.
and apparently used to live in that big white house, too, but has some bad
memories related to it and would rather not move back in. What Billy really
wants from Santa is a giant can of “Image Polisher” and a big bottle of “Brain
Washer” to make people forget about what he did when he lived in that white
house. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Vladi P. doesn’t live in Washington but
seems to have a lot of friends in the city. Vladi writes me to say that he’s
really happy with the Kollusion Kit® I gave him a few years ago so he doesn’t
really need a new one. What he’d really like instead is a resignation letter
from Bobby M. and another chance to play with his kit in 2020.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="text-align: center;"> </span></div>
<br />David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-74678190672337813702018-12-08T13:44:00.003-05:002018-12-08T13:44:52.009-05:00U. S. Constitution's Medical Record<br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gQta4GIUaP4/XAwRCxy-TBI/AAAAAAAABWI/w2HvT-E6Vbs13RsDrtp9teupva66W9k1ACLcBGAs/s1600/Medical%2BRecord.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="782" data-original-width="1280" height="195" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gQta4GIUaP4/XAwRCxy-TBI/AAAAAAAABWI/w2HvT-E6Vbs13RsDrtp9teupva66W9k1ACLcBGAs/s320/Medical%2BRecord.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">WALTER
REED NATIONAL MILITARY MEDICAL CENTER<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Patient
Medical Record<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Patient
name:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Constitution, U. S.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">DOB:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>September 17, 1787<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Place
of birth:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Philadelphia, Pennsylvania <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Location:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Intensive care unit<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The patient is old and frail and presented
with a number of serious ailments. The fact that the patient is well over 200
years old is remarkable but it appears that it may not survive much longer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The most apparent sickness has been found
in Constitution’s first amendment. Apparently the patient’s immune system has
weakened to the point where executive attacks on its guarantee of free speech
and a free press can no longer be defended against.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Constitution’s second amendment is also in
poor shape. What was initially a limited right to bear arms has been inexplicably
expanded again and again so that the patient now suffers from an acute
inability to regulate and curtail the use of all manner of weapons.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A thorough examination of Constitution
revealed evidence of some previous medical errors being inflicted on the
patient. For example, it was seriously harmed by something called prohibition
via its eighteenth amendment although luckily that was subsequently rectified
by a twenty-first amendment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some past medical procedures appeared to
have strengthened the patient’s Constitution such as the right to vote
irrespective of race or sex (amendments fifteen and nineteen) and to directly
elect senators (amendment seventeen). But little has been done to take further
remedial steps in recent decades as evidenced by the shredded remains of a
failed procedure called the equal rights amendment. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead, Constitution has been threatened
with the possibility of harmful amendments to prohibit gay marriage, outlaw
abortion, allow school prayer and insist on a balanced federal budget. The
various attacks on Constitution’s corpus have weakened it so much that recently
a Mr. West even urged the amputation of its thirteenth amendment in order to reinstate
the possibility of slavery.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A detailed examination of the patient’s
body politic revealed a serious growth in clause 2 of section 2 of its article
2, namely a slow-growing cancer that has been eating away at the appointment
process of its Supreme Court. What was once a fairly civilized practice of
advice and consent by the Senate requiring at least sixty affirmative votes has
deteriorated into a highly partisan procedure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Checking the patient’s medical history
over the last fifty years reveals that a virulent judicial interpretative
strain called originalism has infected the Court. This nasty bug has severely
hampered Constitution’s ability to grow and change over time in order to adapt
to new circumstances that were unimaginable 230 years ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In recent years, it appears that
Constitution’s executive powers have grown appreciably beyond what was intended
and have possibly metastasized into a national tumor. The current executive has
become a cancer upon the patient who has been so weakened that it cannot exercise
its inherent self-protective powers to impeach under article 2, section 4 or to
remove under amendment 25.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sadly, it appears that one major
contributor to Constitution’s ill health is a congenital disorder called the
Electoral College which was there at birth in the form of clauses 2, 3 and 4 of
section 1 of article 2. This birth defect has apparently been exacerbated by
such contagions as voter suppression and gerrymandering. In the patient’s five
previous executive elections, two were won without a majority or even a
plurality of the popular vote.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the past, the patient suffered through
many trials and tribulations and it was common for political doctors to say
that Constitution had an inner strength and balance that allowed it to always
pull through. Presently the patient is in the intensive care unit and its
prognosis is uncertain. After we run some additional Congressional tests and
surveys, we may have a better picture of Constitution’s possible recovery.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-1453988129802139872018-11-28T04:55:00.000-05:002018-11-28T04:55:59.739-05:00The New Trump Shopping Plaza<br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NeModcXGK9g/W_5k-yVVhQI/AAAAAAAABV8/5aSOEG-VcYEFK2sqojtZrWCDmrQ4QODCQCLcBGAs/s1600/Trump%2BStore.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="413" data-original-width="550" height="240" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NeModcXGK9g/W_5k-yVVhQI/AAAAAAAABV8/5aSOEG-VcYEFK2sqojtZrWCDmrQ4QODCQCLcBGAs/s320/Trump%2BStore.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"> <o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Welcome to the grand opening of the
fantastic new Trump Shopping Plaza. Located next door to 1600 Pennsylvania
Avenue, Trump Plaza has all the retail outlets you’re ever likely to need.
Check out these great new businesses:</span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Trump
Hairstylists and Weavers</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">If you’ve got an elaborate head of hair
that requires the best in styling and interweaving, Trump Hairstylists is the
place for you. Experts in comb-overs and hair weaving for more than forty
years, we can turn your bald spot and rat’s nest of hair into a dazzling
hirsute crown. We also specialize in hair growth medications and tonics like Rogaine
and Propecia which we will administer in strict confidence so that even your
doctor won’t know. Drop in within the next ten days for a hair styling or
weaving and we’ll include absolutely free a skin-bronzing treatment in one of
our amazing new fall colors: Harvest Orange, Pumpkin Puree or Corn Cob Gold.</span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Trump
Legal Services</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Instead of searching far and wide for
legal services, now you can come on down to Trump Shopping Plaza and find the
right lawyer for you. Drop in and we’ll quickly assess your needs and pair you
up with just the right attorney. Whether you’re dealing with a tricky conflict
of interest situation, a questionable offshore financial transaction or a
complicated personal non-disclosure agreement, we’ve got you covered. We even
have aging politicos on staff specializing in spin and dissembling who can
confuse just about any fake news practitioner.</span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Trump
Electronics</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">This is the place for all your electronic
goods shopping. You name it; we’ve got it. From high-speed, high-volume paper
shredders to the latest in sophisticated listening and recording devices, Trump
Electronics is your one-stop location for today’s self-protecting electronic
gizmos. We’ve even got outdated, non-secure smart phones if that’s your
preference although we strongly advise against using them. Plus, if you act now
and spend $200 or more, we’ll provide you with a $100 discount at Trump Legal Services
to ensure you know the law in your jurisdiction regarding the recording of your
conversations by others.</span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Trump
Laundromat</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Whether you’ve got bedding, clothes or
questionable currency to clean, come on down to Trump Laundromat where we’ll
take care of all of your laundering needs. We can help launder your dirty
sheets, underwear or foreign bills and instantly turn them into shiny new
bedding, skivvies or currency in no time. For your convenience, our
coin-operated machines accept various denominations including quarters and
Russian rubles. You can do your own laundering or, if you don’t have time,
leave everything with us and we’ll clean up your clothes and cash with our
famous same-day service.</span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">The
Bank of Trump</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Let’s face it; not every bank is capable
of dealing with your unique financial needs. But we here at the Bank of Trump
are sensitive to your peculiar business arrangements and can help you achieve
the kind of financing that other banks legally can’t provide. Whether you need
to temporarily hide some of your money offshore or you just need some extra
cash to stay solvent, we’re there for you. Most importantly, we’re the bank
that can loan you lots and lots of money even when so-called traditional banks won’t.
With branch offices around the world including in Moscow and St. Petersburg, we
can find you enough cash to underwrite whatever shaky venture you have in mind.</span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Trump
Election Services</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Running for elected office but unsure
where to start? Looking to unseat a Congressional incumbent but afraid you just
don’t have the votes? Then make Trump Election Services the first stop on your
voyage to electoral success. We can help you dip into huge pools of anonymously-donated
election funds to help swamp your opponent with negative ads. We’re also
experts in gerrymandering and voter suppression to ensure you get at least a
plurality of votes in your chosen district. And for those who need a little
help from manipulated social media, we have some eastern-based operatives who
will be glad to help you out for no cost at all.</span></div>
<br />
David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-15594133247025323782018-11-20T15:53:00.000-05:002018-11-20T15:53:30.342-05:00CEO Job Opening<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XBkYonP-a8A/W_R0MUdnRAI/AAAAAAAABVw/VhbnIOfy1PU2J8pGtQ34W881OXEP5_jkwCLcBGAs/s1600/White%2BHouse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="585" data-original-width="780" height="240" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XBkYonP-a8A/W_R0MUdnRAI/AAAAAAAABVw/VhbnIOfy1PU2J8pGtQ34W881OXEP5_jkwCLcBGAs/s320/White%2BHouse.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><br /></span></u></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">MONSTER.COM<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Position</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Chief Executive Officer, Washington, D. C.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Republican Party is urgently looking
for a new CEO to head up the nation’s executive branch. The successful
candidate must be at least 35 years old and a natural born citizen. Preference
will be given to those individuals who already live in or near the Washington,
D. C. area and are thus able to assume the job as soon as possible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Role
Description</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The nation’s CEO is responsible for the
entire executive branch of the federal government. He will carefully formulate
detailed policy initiatives to be presented to the legislative branch for
possible passage into law. The CEO works closely with the other branches to
ensure the smooth and efficient functioning of all aspects of the government.
He will coordinate with elected officials at the state and local levels to
implement domestic policy. At the same time, he will liaise with foreign
national leaders to ensure smooth international trade arrangements and peaceful
foreign relations.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Skills
required</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The position of the nation’s top executive
requires an individual skilled in legislative implementation, policy
formulation and international diplomacy. The successful candidate will be
someone with highly developed written and verbal skills, keen discretion and an
ability to think before speaking. Preferably, he will have extensive experience
in one or more elected positions or, at a minimum, ten or more years in a high
level military position.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ideally, the new CEO will be a lifelong
member of the Republican Party and willing and able to listen to the views of
Congressional members of his party. He will know the difference between true
and false and will be skilled in the diplomatic arts such that he will not
alienate the nation’s allies and will not give aid and comfort to its enemies.
It is of utmost importance that he not be beholden to any foreign power or be
smitten with autocrats and oligarchs of any kind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Benefits</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The CEO position includes significant
health and dental benefits. The incumbent is also entitled to Secret Service
protection and has diplomatic immunity. He will be provided with free
transportation within and beyond the Washington area although it is preferred
that he not use such transportation to travel to his own properties.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Housing is provided. The successful
candidate will live rent-free in one of Washington’s premier residences for
anywhere from two to six years. Thus, there should be no need to spend money
traveling to other residences except for his nearby country retreat at Camp
David. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The salary is $400,000 per year with a
$50,000 non-taxable expense account. There is a post-employment annual pension
of $207,800. Although there are no stock options or bonuses, upon retirement,
the CEO will be able to set up his own library in the location of his
choice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Application
process</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Any interested candidate should submit his
CV together with at least three letters of reference from non-family members attesting
to his honesty, integrity and intelligence. A detailed listing of skills should
be provided including technical and computer skills. However, it is preferred
that no candidate should have any involvement with social media in general and
Twitter in particular.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The successful candidate should be
available immediately subject to a potential minor Constitutional impediment in
the 25<sup>th</sup> Amendment and in the Presidential Succession Act. For the
sake of the nation and the Republican Party, the employer anticipates the
cooperation of anyone in the CEO line of succession to step aside and make way
for the winner of this competition.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Republican Party requests that all
applications be made and kept in confidence and, in particular, that no
applicant inform the current CEO of this competition.</span></div>
David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-42680282868942706112018-11-14T10:38:00.000-05:002018-11-14T10:38:23.733-05:00@EmperorDonald<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LyZMtoe6-QQ/W-xBPvvjuRI/AAAAAAAABVk/7b58J2aXQsIfW0KkEg5qzKbrMMoq4GP0gCLcBGAs/s1600/Emperor%2BTrump.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="750" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LyZMtoe6-QQ/W-xBPvvjuRI/AAAAAAAABVk/7b58J2aXQsIfW0KkEg5qzKbrMMoq4GP0gCLcBGAs/s320/Emperor%2BTrump.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: #FEFEFE; color: #262626; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Several of President Donald Trump’s outside advisers have
told him over the past week he requires neither a chief of staff nor a communications
director….”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: #FEFEFE; color: #262626; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 6;"> </span>-
CNN – March 30, 2018<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="background: #FEFEFE; color: #262626; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Communications Director Hope Hicks is long
gone so can Chief of Staff John Kelly be far behind? Look for these upcoming
tweets from the President:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="background: #FEFEFE; color: #262626; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">@realDonaldTrump:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Goodbye John Kelly. Just like Jimmy Carter, I
don’t need a chief of staff or a communications director. No one does these
jobs better than me. Let Donald be Donald and let’s make the White House Great
Again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background: #FEFEFE; color: #262626; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">@realDonaldTrump:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t forget; your taxes are due on April 15<sup>th</sup>.
Why does the IRS make it so difficult? I’m now the head of the agency because
I’m great at doing taxes. Nobody avoids paying taxes better than me because I
know the system so well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background: #FEFEFE; color: #262626; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">@realDonaldTrump:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A big thanks to Betsy DeVos for her efforts
at the Department of Education. She gets a solid C+ but America deserves an A+
and that means me. I’m the smartest guy, a real stable genius who has a real
degree from an Ivy League business school so I’ll fix our schools like real
quick.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background: #FEFEFE; color: #262626; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">@realDonaldTrump:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sad Scott Pruitt had to go at the EPA. Sure
he loves coal and doesn’t believe in climate change just like me but he couldn’t
keep his hand out of the till. DT for EPA and let’s get back to coal-burning
steam locomotives and a coal-fired furnace in the White House. Make America
Dark Again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background: #FEFEFE; color: #262626; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">@realDonaldTrump:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I appreciate your efforts as Secretary of
State, Mike Pompeo, but I no longer need your services. After all, who arranged
that+ meeting with Little Rocket Man and threatened nuclear war against Iran?
The Donald, that’s who.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background: #FEFEFE; color: #262626; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">@realDonaldTrump:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A big thank-you and goodbye to John Bolton
for his service as National Security Adviser but I’ll take it from here and
without an ugly mustache (it’s gotta go, John; so ugly). I know national
security better than anyone so I’ll do it alone and brief myself. You’ll be so
secure you’ll be tired of being secure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background: #FEFEFE; color: #262626; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">@realDonaldTrump:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ben Carson knows nothing about housing and I
know everything about housing so, no surprise, I’m the new Secretary of
Housing. Plus Ben blamed his wife for that $31,000 dining set purchase. I would
never blame my wife for anything although maybe my ex-wives. LOL.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background: #FEFEFE; color: #262626; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">@realDonaldTrump:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve always said Jeff Sessions shouldn’t have
recused himself. Well now Stupid Jeff is gone and I’m the new Attorney General.
I’m not a lawyer but I know more than any lawyer since I’ve used so many of
them over the years. If anyone disagrees, you’re sued!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background: #FEFEFE; color: #262626; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">@realDonaldTrump:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hey, Rod Rosenstein, I don’t need you anymore
since I’m now the AG so, guess what, you’re fired. And while I’m at it, Robert
Mueller, you’re fired, too. No collusion. Fake news. Witch hunt over.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background: #FEFEFE; color: #262626; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">@realDonaldTrump:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m firing any remaining cabinet members and
I appoint myself to any vacant positions although maybe Jared can be Chief
Vassal or Court Jester or something. Since I’m like really smart, stupendously
smart, I can do it all. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background: #FEFEFE; color: #262626; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">@EmperorDonald:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s right. I’ve changed my Twitter handle.
I now run the whole show. I don’t need anyone’s help except I still can’t seem
to find the nuclear football.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background: #FEFEFE; color: #262626; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">@EmperorDonald:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Found it. I’m going to attack Iran and North
Korea. MAGA and KYAG (kiss your ass goodbye).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: #FEFEFE; color: #262626; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Twitter blows up. Trump blows up Twitter
and who knows what else.</span></i></div>
David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-20538319615982382032018-10-30T18:34:00.002-04:002018-10-30T18:34:47.767-04:00D. C. Trick-or-treating<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zr77p2e9bOQ/W9jcSaGiuHI/AAAAAAAABVM/mFMDftzb2bkTBbvLwtn0Jl9FQlSQZmmsACEwYBhgL/s1600/White%2BHouse%2BHalloween.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="485" data-original-width="727" height="213" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zr77p2e9bOQ/W9jcSaGiuHI/AAAAAAAABVM/mFMDftzb2bkTBbvLwtn0Jl9FQlSQZmmsACEwYBhgL/s320/White%2BHouse%2BHalloween.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s almost Halloween and that means
children everywhere will be scouting nearby neighborhoods for the best homes to
visit for treats. As a public service for kids living in the Washington, D. C.
area, here’s a list of the best addresses for trick-or-treating and those to
avoid:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Bob
Mueller’s house<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mr. Mueller will answer the door but will
neither confirm nor deny that he has any tricks up his sleeve. However, rumor
has it that he will be handing out goodies in the form of Russian nesting dolls
and criminal subpoenas. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Rod
Rosenstein’s house<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Deputy Attorney-General Rosenstein is a
very busy man. So don’t expect many treats at his residence. In fact, Mr.
Rosenstein may not even be home or, if he is, he will likely be hiding in the
basement with the lights out and not answering the phone especially any calls
from White House numbers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">1600
Pennsylvania Avenue<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Leaked reports suggest that the
resident/president will be handling front door duties himself this year with a seasonal
pumpkin-orange face and corn-silk woven yellow hair. Those reports also warn
that the only treats to be given will be autographed copies of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Art of the Deal</i> and tax cuts to
children of the one percent. As in past years, the President will not be
handing out any of his tax returns.<u> </u><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Number
One Observatory Circle<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is the home of Mike Pence who, along
with his wife “Mother”, will be distributing delicious candy treats. Although
the Vice President denies it, last year he reportedly wrapped each treat bag in
a copy of the 25<sup>th</sup> Amendment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Democratic
National Committee</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Best to give this place a pass since the
residents can’t seem to get their act together. Rather than decorate the front
door and pass out treats, they tend to spend all their time navel gazing and
arguing over who’s going to run in 2020. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Brett
Kavanaugh’s house<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Brett will <u>not</u>, repeat <u>not</u>,
be having a Halloween kegger at his house this year. If anyone says otherwise,
he’ll deny it and refer doubters to the daily calendar app on his iPhone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Bernie
Sanders’s house</span></u><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With his wispy white hair and disheveled
clothing, he looks harmless enough. But this part New York City Jew, part
Vermont senator, part democratic socialist is really a scary Frankenstein
creation who wants to give your kids free healthcare and free tuition. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Ted
Cruz’s house</span></u><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s a strange bird - Canadian-born,
Texas-raised and Tea Party-funded - and the only senator up for re-election with
two right wings. It should be easy pickings for kids visiting the Cruz
household since he has already given up his self-respect seeking the support of
President Trump in his attempt to defeat newcomer Beto O’Rourke.</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">The
Senate</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Senior Senators Chuck Grassley, Orin Hatch
and Richard Shelby will be manning the Senate’s front door but not to hand out
Halloween treats. Instead, they will take turns yelling at kids to “Get off my
lawn!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">The
House<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The House of Representatives will be
closed on Halloween and will not reopen until after November 6<sup>th</sup>. It
is hoped that it will then be in a better position to make some actual
decisions.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-75210760797385408452018-10-27T16:35:00.000-04:002018-10-27T16:35:50.074-04:00The Modern Know-Nothings<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nCnKe_pVklU/W9TL398M9jI/AAAAAAAABVA/rDJrFXEC9j4YMJ1IxQIuECwBqpmvt6sygCLcBGAs/s1600/Know-nothings.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="306" data-original-width="524" height="186" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nCnKe_pVklU/W9TL398M9jI/AAAAAAAABVA/rDJrFXEC9j4YMJ1IxQIuECwBqpmvt6sygCLcBGAs/s320/Know-nothings.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">It's time for a serious piece of political commentary:</span></i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Throughout my lifetime, there has been a
rough divide nationally between the Republican and Democratic parties when it comes
to presidential candidates. The Democrats have been the party of ideas,
intellectualism and detailed policy prescriptions. The Republicans, on the
other hand, are the anti-intellectual party of the common man.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The two presidential elections of the 1950s
illustrate this divide. Adlai Stevenson was the brilliant egghead with a
detailed knowledge of policy and the workings of government. Dwight Eisenhower,
on the other hand, was the competent everyman who cared little for academics
and intellectuals.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although the truth was far more nuanced
(Eisenhower was a smart, highly organized tactician), the public images suited
the Republican Party well as they managed to exploit the anti-intellectual
image over and over again until Americans now have an honest-to-God proud
anti-intellectual in the White House.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Republicans have consistently appealed to
the uneducated electorate, be that Richard Nixon’s silent majority or Trump
proclaiming “I love the poorly educated.” The problem is that they have played
this card so often and so skilfully that instead of having a president
pretending to be a know-nothing friend of the common man, the U. S. now has a
bona fide, dyed-in-the-wool leader who proudly displays his wide-ranging
ignorance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This trend towards anti-intellectualism
gained speed with the elevation of Ronald Reagan to the office of president.
Although clearly more experienced and knowledgeable than the current incumbent,
Reagan was not the best and the brightest. The stories are legend of his mistakes,
failures and screw-ups. Yet he, or those next to him, had the good sense to
choose capable, competent individuals to run his administration.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Republicans savored the successes
achieved by touting anti-intellectualism and doubled down on this approach with
the selection of George W. Bush as their candidate in 2000. Bush proudly
purported to be an anti-elite everyman notwithstanding his lifetime of
privilege. As Jim Hightower once said of Bush’s dad, he “...was born on third
base and thought he hit a triple.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fairness, George W. Bush was not the
stupid man that many portrayed him to be. Whatever one’s intellectual
shortcomings, it still takes some brains to pick up an M.B.A. from Harvard.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many voters supported him simply because
he seemed like the kind of guy they could sit down and have a beer with. Voters
who thought things through realized that they didn’t need a drinking buddy;
they needed someone more intelligent and experienced than themselves to lead
the country. Sadly, there weren’t enough of the latter to keep Bush away from
the levers of power.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What this history of anti-intellectualism
has wrought is an electorate that decries political experience and academic
enquiry and is willing to vote for anyone who trashes the elites. What those
voters don’t seem to realize is that such a knee-jerk reaction is not helpful
to them but instead consistently results in Republican presidents who do little
more than serve the rich.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This approach has delivered big time to
the wealthy but at the same time has widened the gap between the haves and the
have-nots to the point where the uneducated voter has no respect for political
experience whatsoever and is willing to vote in the least experienced, least
knowledgeable, least competent and least truthful candidate based solely on his
faux-populist appeal. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Republicans have unthinkingly reaped
what they have sown over the years in the person of Donald Trump. Right wing
conservatives have gotten the tax cuts they wanted from Trump but now, too
late, they have come to realize that they have let loose an anti-intellectual
bull in the political china shop. His nativist, anti-free trade, know-nothing
approach threatens the entire world economy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It remains to be seen if congressional
Republicans are prepared to put a stop to the dumpster fire started by
President Trump, admit the hypocrisy of their anti-intellectual approach and show
Mr. Trump the door. Given that this would mean the decimation of their ranks in
Congress, it seems unlikely but if they choose not to act, America’s future
appears bleak indeed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u><o:p></o:p></u></i></span></div>
<b><i></i></b>David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-88796501310261064222018-10-18T15:08:00.000-04:002018-10-18T15:08:22.266-04:00O Cannabis<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bP8zGpzyoFM/W8jZ_Tppm5I/AAAAAAAABU0/OQjcLKBkiEcs4X51ET5Nfh0ZbCqLMpjngCLcBGAs/s1600/Marijuana-flag.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="550" height="163" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bP8zGpzyoFM/W8jZ_Tppm5I/AAAAAAAABU0/OQjcLKBkiEcs4X51ET5Nfh0ZbCqLMpjngCLcBGAs/s320/Marijuana-flag.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"> Well, it’s official; as of October 17<sup>th</sup>,
recreational marijuana is legal in Canada. We’re the first G7 country to
legalize weed and only the second worldwide to do so after Uruguay.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The federal government and Prime Minister
Justin Trudeau claim that the country is ready for this dramatic change and
that everything is in place to ease the transition to a pro-bud nation.
However, given that Canada’s provinces and territories are the ones responsible
for regulating marijuana sales and use, it’s far from clear that it will be
smooth sailing for weed aficionados. Each jurisdiction will have its own rules
and regulations which may create confusion for those traveling throughout
Canada, especially those under the influence.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s likely that there will be lots of
bumps to iron out in this new Cannabinoid Canada but those in charge seem to be
up to the task. In order to minimize confusion and to harmonize marijuana laws
from coast to coast to coast, it is rumored that the federal government will be
taking the following steps:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">*<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Serious attempts will be made to standardize
various provincial regulations. In the interim, the federal government will
publish “The Dope Smokers’ Handbook” to help educate interprovincial travelers
as to the cross-country differences.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">*<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The legal limit for carrying marijuana in
public is 30 grams or about one ounce. The federal government is reportedly
developing a new mini-scale phone app to help consumers stay within the legal
limit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">*<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eventually, the Canadian government will
also legalize marijuana edibles including cookies, chocolate and poutine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">*<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Canada’s flag will be slightly altered to
change the central red maple leaf to a red marijuana leaf.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">*<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Henceforth, the country’s national anthem
will be revised from “O Canada” to “O Cannabis.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">*<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Canada’s national symbol will be changed
from the beaver to a stoned moose.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">*<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Canadian Thanksgiving will be moved from the
second Monday in October to October 17<sup>th</sup>. (Contrary to some rumors,
4/20 or April 20<sup>th</sup> will not be proclaimed a national statutory
holiday.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">*<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Legislation is reportedly being drafted to
severely limit marijuana use by federal politicians in Ottawa to ensure they
maintain a high level of sobriety and productivity in Parliament. Some citizens
are apparently lobbying against such proposed legislation on the assumption
that the less politicians can do, the better.</span><span style="text-align: center;"> </span></div>
<br />David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-28738785996127254482018-10-16T20:13:00.000-04:002018-10-16T20:13:37.399-04:00U. S. v. Anheuser-Busch<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tDIM02u4rgY/W8Z-fCFrZxI/AAAAAAAABUo/LTOHgDFwbBEFsRIQzbPJoacbNIdmtNQRgCLcBGAs/s1600/Kavanaugh.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="589" data-original-width="634" height="297" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tDIM02u4rgY/W8Z-fCFrZxI/AAAAAAAABUo/LTOHgDFwbBEFsRIQzbPJoacbNIdmtNQRgCLcBGAs/s320/Kavanaugh.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s now official; Brett Kavanaugh has
been sworn in as the latest Associate Justice on the U. S. Supreme Court. For
those wondering how he’ll perform, here’s a look at some likely future
decisions by Justice Kavanaugh:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">U. S. v. Anheuser-Busch<o:p></o:p></span></u></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is an anti-trust action against
Anheuser-Busch, brewer of many fine beers including Budweiser and Bud Light. As
a subsidiary of AB InBev, Anheuser-Busch is alleged to have abused its dominant
market position. However, as a longtime fan of beer in general and Bud Light in
particular, I cannot countenance any divesting or breakup of this fine company.
When I was young, I liked beer. I still like beer and, in my opinion, the best
way to ensure a ready supply of that golden nectar throughout this great land
of ours is to let Anheuser-Busch do what it does best: make beer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Clinton v. Clinton</span></u></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As noted by counsel on both sides, it is
highly unusual to have a divorce action elevated to the Supreme Court. But,
when it comes to the Clintons, nothing is unusual. Some have suggested that I
recuse myself from this case because of my comment that the Democrats’ attack
on my nomination was “revenge on behalf of the Clintons.” All I can say to that
is “nonsense.” My many years on the bench have taught me to be completely fair
and totally impartial which is why I vote to dismiss both claims and award
costs against both parties. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Underwood v. Trump</span></u></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
New York State Attorney General initiated criminal proceedings against
President Donald Trump based on allegations of tax avoidance and fraud. Apart
from the fact that I can’t believe that our president would engage in such
actions, I feel compelled to note that, in my opinion, it is clear that this
Court cannot entertain criminal charges against a sitting president at least
not while he is still in office. And even after that, I think I would find it
hard to allow such proceedings given my personal knowledge of the defendant and
his sterling reputation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">U . S. v. Judge, Tobin, Squi et al.<o:p></o:p></span></u></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is an appeal of a sexual assault case
involving several young men and an anonymous female victim based on alleged
incidents from the 1980s. Notwithstanding that there is no statutory limitation
on bringing such charges in the state of Maryland, I think there really ought
to be. In any event, the prosecution’s case rested primarily on testimony
referring to such actions as “boofing” and “Devil’s Triangle.” Given that the
former only refers to flatulence and the latter is a harmless drinking game, I
find that the basis of this action is without merit. Plus, these guys are my
friends and I have their backs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Jane Doe v. Faith Johnson<o:p></o:p></span></u></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is ironic that this abortion case
mirrors <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Roe v. Wade</i> in almost all
respects including the fact that the respondent is once again the Dallas County
District Attorney. The appellant has relied on that 45-year-old Supreme Court
precedent and also on my statement during my confirmation hearing that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Roe v. Wade </i>is settled law. Remember,
however, that confirmation hearing testimony is not binding. What is truly
binding is a promise like the promise I made to President Trump about how I
would rule on abortion. All I can say at this point is “Promise made; promise
kept.”</span></div>
David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-12833450222861479082018-10-10T10:45:00.000-04:002018-10-10T10:45:40.164-04:00Presidential Alert System Warnings<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rIRbJ2ZsIO0/W74QQ0gWD7I/AAAAAAAABUc/8eiDYl3PfPowxck-QDHjL3miZEsP_8FYwCLcBGAs/s1600/Presidential%2BAlert.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="438" data-original-width="780" height="179" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rIRbJ2ZsIO0/W74QQ0gWD7I/AAAAAAAABUc/8eiDYl3PfPowxck-QDHjL3miZEsP_8FYwCLcBGAs/s320/Presidential%2BAlert.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>FEMA recently tested its Presidential
Alert system which is designed to transmit warnings to cell phone users across
the country. Although the system is primarily designed to warn of natural
disasters, missile attacks and acts of terrorism, apparently it will also issue
actual presidential alerts such as the following:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">*<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Beware!
The President will be attending a campaign rally event in your area tonight. Be
prepared for blustery rants, abundant <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">non
sequiturs</i> and outright condemnations of reporters, foreigners and Democrats.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">*<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Alert! <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The
New York Times</i> is releasing an in-depth report on the President’s finances.
Those in the Washington, D. C. area should take immediate cover due to a likely
onslaught of presidential fake news accusations.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">*<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders and/or
Barack Obama will be releasing a new book containing criticisms of Donald Trump.
Citizens can expect a severe nationwide presidential Twitterstorm over the next
24 hours.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">*<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Attention! Attention! A hurricane is
tracking toward your region of the country. Look for frequent but questionable presidential
assurances of relief and support. (Not available in Puerto Rico or in certain
blue states)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">*<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Be
prepared for a severe outage of logical thought and proper grammatical usage as
the President plans to go off script in delivering a speech tonight.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">*<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A severe warning to women everywhere since
the President plans to comment on the issues of sexual harassment and assault.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">*<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Groups of Republican supporters are meeting
in your region. Be ready for gross exaggerations of crowd enthusiasm and crowd
size emanating from the White House.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">*<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Be on the lookout for an increase in
presidential whoppers and mockeries followed by a sharp rise in dissembling and
pivoting by Kellyanne Conway and Sarah Huckabee Sanders.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">*<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Presidential
tax cuts have been spotted on the horizon. Hold on tightly to your wallet
unless you are a member of the one percent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">*<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Amber Alert! The First Lady is missing. If
you happen to spot her, she requests that you not inform the President of her
whereabouts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">*<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Watch for influx of presidential
assertions like “Many people are saying” and “Believe me.” </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Resultant
increased falsehood count almost guaranteed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">*<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Health alert issued for an aging Supreme Court
justice. Expect a presidential flurry of potential far right nominee
replacements.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">*<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Possible Democratic presidential landslide
on November 3, 2020. Look for subsequent dismantling of Presidential Alert
system.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-15050327423407850472018-09-30T15:53:00.000-04:002018-09-30T15:53:40.267-04:00"Standup Monthly" Interview<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-size: 12pt; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-POTN7oeSlPA/W7EpG8dj8rI/AAAAAAAABUQ/G0jvR8UtnK4SUYWtQdCHRiEB-6KW8Q7YACLcBGAs/s1600/Donald%2BTrump%2B-%2Bstandup.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-POTN7oeSlPA/W7EpG8dj8rI/AAAAAAAABUQ/G0jvR8UtnK4SUYWtQdCHRiEB-6KW8Q7YACLcBGAs/s320/Donald%2BTrump%2B-%2Bstandup.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Standup
Monthly</i> magazine<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>recently had a
chance to interview the latest rising star in the field of standup comedy: D.
J. Trump.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Standup
Monthly</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">: D. J., it’s an honor to interview you especially
after your recent smash performance at the General Assembly Room of the United
Nations Club on East 42<sup>nd</sup> Street in New York City.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">D.J.
Trump</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">: Thank you. That was a great performance. I really
killed, didn’t I? Especially the Iranians in the crowd.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Standup
Monthly</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">: Now that performance was a little different from
your previous style. How did you change your act?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">D.J.
Trump</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">: You’re right. I mixed things up a bit and started
trying a little more exaggerated, over-the-top comedy like “My administration has
accomplished more than almost any in U. S. history.” It was kind of a riff on
my old routines like “My electoral victory was the biggest since Reagan’s” and
“This was the biggest Inauguration crowd ever.” I think you could see how the
crowd really ate that stuff up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Standup
Monthly</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, they
certainly did. But does that mean you’re giving up on your insult comedy?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">D.J.
Trump</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, of course
not. Remember; that’s what earned me my first success. Favorites like Lyin’
Ted, Crooked Hillary, Little Rocket Man. They’re what got me to where I am
today so I’m not going to stop using them. Except maybe for Little Rocket Man.
I met Kim recently, you know? We did a gig together in Singapore and we really
hit it off. I think we could be bigger than Martin and Lewis or even me and
Putin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Standup
Monthly</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">: It’s clear that you have great success with U. S.
crowds but some folks are saying that you don’t really appeal to international
audiences. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">D.J.
Trump</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">: Nonsense. Look at that UN crowd, for example. They
were yukking it up like crazy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Standup
Monthly</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">: Although some are saying they were laughing at you,
not with you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">D.J.
Trump</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">: Believe me; they were laughing with me. Or at least
if they know what’s good for them, they were laughing with me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Standup
Monthly</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">: So what’s on the agenda for D. J. Trump? Are you
planning a tour? Any local clubs you’ll be playing in the Washington area?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">D.J.
Trump</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">: Well, if you hadn’t noticed, I’ve been touring
regularly even before I moved to the White House. It’s kind of what I like to
call the Eternal Campaign Rally tour. And we’re going to be ramping that up big
time as we approach the first week of November topped off with a Tone Deaf
Comedy Jam concert in D. C. on Tuesday, November 6<sup>th</sup>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">Standup
Monthly</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">: What’s in the future? Where do you see D. J. Trump
in five years?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">D.J.
Trump</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">: I think I’m only going to get better and better. I’m
looking to try out some observational humor like Jerry Seinfeld and maybe even
more physical comedy like Jerry Ford. Where do I see myself in five years? Well
touring is tiring so I’d like to have my own personal concert venue in
Washington kind of like what that Celine Dion broad has in Vegas. Then I could
do two shows a night forever assuming we can get rid of that stupid 22<sup>nd</sup>
Amendment.</span></div>
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<br />
David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-80230496963442374962018-09-26T16:00:00.001-04:002018-09-26T16:00:26.393-04:00Hurricane Donald<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZatzyALZXxA/W6vkbCiAToI/AAAAAAAABUI/v_RhwF_bB_06FqOfeLgG2G9Vua5KOdC4wCEwYBhgL/s1600/Hurricane-Donald.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="588" data-original-width="800" height="235" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZatzyALZXxA/W6vkbCiAToI/AAAAAAAABUI/v_RhwF_bB_06FqOfeLgG2G9Vua5KOdC4wCEwYBhgL/s320/Hurricane-Donald.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">It
turns out that Hurricane Florence may not have been the storm of a lifetime but
it definitely wreaked havoc with extensive flooding along the coast of the
Carolinas and further inland. Although Florence has passed, we must remember
that the hurricane season is far from over and that more devastating storms are
on the way including this one recently identified by the National Weather Service:
<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">NATIONAL
WEATHER SERVICE</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">National
Hurricane Center</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"> – Storm Advisory for Hurricane Donald – Extreme
Warning<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We continue to track Donald ever since it
achieved hurricane status back in November of 2016. What was once predicted to
be simply a minor tropical storm that would blow itself out in 2015 has
unexpectedly continued to gain strength and now threatens not only coastal
regions but the entire continental United States. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although some hurricanes like Florence
move westward at a very slow pace, Donald is truly exceptional in that it has
moved very little in the past two years. In fact, the eye of the storm remains
centered over Washington, D. C. with particularly disruptive winds and storm
surges in the specific area of the White House. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since its inception, Donald has left
significant damage and destruction in its path. Puerto Rico was one of its
early major victims but the damage caused has been widespread and extensive.
The storm has managed to destroy innumerable regulations, cause significant
harm to healthcare reforms and add immeasurably to the national debt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those residing in lower income areas are
urged to evacuate as soon as possible. Although Donald consistently promised to
bring economic gains to all, to date, it has limited such results only to upper
income neighborhoods.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While Donald primarily attacks liberal
coastal areas, it causes damage wherever it tracks. Even if your region appears
to be safe, be advised that Donald creates dangerous subsidiary weather patterns
such as unceasing campaign-like rallies and unpredictable Twitterstorms. It has
even been known to become embedded with local tornadoes like the recently
identified Stormy Daniels.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Donald has yet to be accurately or
adequately categorized. Once thought to be simply an annoying tropical depression,
it has since surprisingly continued to jump categories beyond our standard
measuring determinants to the point where, at this point, we can only call it
an uncategorized storm.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It continues to be difficult to predict
the path and strength of this hurricane. Although we anticipated on several
occasions that Donald would essentially self-destruct, it appears that whatever
erratic and unstable action the storm takes only seems to strengthen it more.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are cautiously optimistic, however,
that by early November, we will see Donald’s power lessened significantly by
strong midterm election weather patterns emanating from the House and possibly
the Senate. Yet given Donald’s unpredictability and penchant for achieving
increased volume as well as the electorate’s historical absence of voter
turnout, it may actually increase in strength and achieve the previously unassigned
storm status of a Windbag 1.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If Donald should persist beyond the
upcoming election season, it may not blow itself out until 2020 unless, of
course, it is intercepted by Typhoon Mueller.</span><span style="text-align: center;"> </span></div>
<br /><br />
<br />
David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-59002534919884985052018-09-20T16:07:00.002-04:002018-09-20T16:07:48.730-04:00Donald The Anonymous<br />
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><br /></span></u></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LNDZSU7t1jU/W6P9y4QAD4I/AAAAAAAABT4/1MHE2Crh3iQ9Wz4XcUR6V1zwZ1iQJc5vACLcBGAs/s1600/Trump%2B%2526%2BPutin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LNDZSU7t1jU/W6P9y4QAD4I/AAAAAAAABT4/1MHE2Crh3iQ9Wz4XcUR6V1zwZ1iQJc5vACLcBGAs/s320/Trump%2B%2526%2BPutin.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">MEMORANDUM</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span><u>EXTRA SUPER TOP SECRET<o:p></o:p></u></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">TO:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My buddy Vlad<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">FROM:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Donnie J.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">RE:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That N. Y. Times Op-Ed<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I gotta hand it to you, Vlad. I had my
doubts about this plan but, like you said: “It will work like charm.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The failing New York Times was suckered
again. I don’t know who they think they were dealing with in publishing that
essay but it’s clear they had no idea it was one of your guys. Well done, Vlad.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The sentence structure, grammar, word
choice and syntax were brilliant. No one’s ever going to suspect that I was
behind this op-ed because they’d never believe that I could write so well.
Hell, I’d never believe I could write that well and, in fact, I can’t. But
whoever you enlisted to draft it clearly did a fantastic job.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So the fake news and all those stupid
liberals are predictably going nuts over this. They’re calling for an
investigation into what’s going on in the White House and calling for my head
on a platter.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What they don’t realize, of course, is
that they’re playing right into my perfectly normal-sized hands. We’ll let them
get even more riled up, Vlad, before we drop the other larger-than-normal shoe.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before that happens though, I gotta say
I’m loving all the squirming and twisting by everyone in my Cabinet. People are
saying that only some bright guy like Kelly or Mattis could have written
something that coherent. It’s fun to watch those two look over their shoulder
when making their denials of authorship.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course no one’s claiming some clown
like Ben Carson or Betsy deVos could have written the op-ed. Hell, those two
can barely write their name.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I know I shouldn’t take pleasure in it
but it’s even fun to watch members of my own family sweat. Room-temperature-IQ
Eric isn’t worried since he’s not bright enough to know that he should be
worried. But Don, Jr. and Ivanka are sweating bullets since they both know how
to string a few nice sounding sentences together.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This all kind of reminds me of that clever
old geezer Ronald Reagan. Everyone thought he was a useful idiot but little did
they know that he just played the part. Behind that clown-like facade was a
brilliant tactician who managed to avoid any responsibility for Iran-Contra by
repeatedly saying he couldn’t remember or “I don’t recall.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, I’m going to ride that same train to
Crazytown right into a second term in office if everything plays out like you
say, Vlad. Once the Democrats have gotten themselves so riled up they’re
foaming at the mouth, we’ll convene an investigation to determine who wrote the
op-ed.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And guess who the investigation will find
guilty? Hey, why am I asking you since you already know? That’s right: Jeff
Sessions.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a clever move, Vlad. Like you always
say: “One stone kill two birds.” I get to look presidential by convening and
conducting a thorough investigation and, at the same time, I can dump that
weenie Sessions. After that, it won’t take long to get rid of Mueller.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Things are looking good for the midterms.
Thanks to you helping those socialists win their Democratic primaries, I think
we’ll be able to hang on to our majority in the House and then it’ll be clear
sailing to a second term in 2020.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thanks again, Vlad. There’ll be a few
extra rubles for your efforts in next month’s pay packet.</span></span></div>
David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-84685553711759158912018-09-12T17:13:00.000-04:002018-09-12T17:13:05.031-04:00Adult Maintenance Schedule<br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/--zC74XTLpDg/W5mAZ9I58jI/AAAAAAAABTs/KzfR7yJzEpQ-yx0gtzhM_9edqZ71tI2IwCLcBGAs/s1600/Auto-maintenance-schedule.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="616" data-original-width="717" height="274" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/--zC74XTLpDg/W5mAZ9I58jI/AAAAAAAABTs/KzfR7yJzEpQ-yx0gtzhM_9edqZ71tI2IwCLcBGAs/s320/Auto-maintenance-schedule.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">When you
buy a new car, the dealer provides you with a suggested maintenance schedule, a
list of recommended services to be carried out at various set intervals. Many
of us follow those schedules faithfully. And why not? After all, a car is an
expensive investment and it makes sense to keep it well maintained.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">But if we
take that much care with our car, why wouldn’t we do the same with our own
body? Hence, a suggested adult maintenance schedule:</span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 179%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Every year or 1,000 miles</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Do visual inspection of exterior for any obvious signs
of wear or incipient growths.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Check teeth and repair or replace any defective
molars, incisors or bicuspids.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Check footwear and replace or repair as necessary.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Test eyesight and install corrective eyewear if
needed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Test compression and advise accordingly (e.g. - lose
weight, exercise more, reduce salt intake).</span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 179%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Every ten years or 10,000 miles</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Examine for any weight gain and replace belts where
needed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Lubricate all joints.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Check for proper moral bearings and adjust if
required.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Rotate footwear and upgrade wardrobe.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Inspect intake valve and exhaust manifold for any
leaking or improper functioning.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">For male model, carefully examine hairline and take
appropriate measures for any recession or male pattern baldness.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">For female model, check for facial scratches or
imperfections and apply necessary creams and oils or surgically alter if
needed.</span></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 179%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">After 50 years or 50,000 miles</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Examine marriage and adjust or replace as needed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 179%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Check for impending mid-life crisis and provide sports
car, facelift or younger mate as required.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 179%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Test eyesight and, if appropriate, fit with bi- or
tri-focals depending on model type.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 179%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Replace any clogged or malfunctioning valves and
arteries.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 179%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Internally inspect exhaust pipe and remove any
unwanted growths.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 179%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Check for power failures in the reproductive crankcase
and medicate as needed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 179%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Examine diet and remove all sugars, fats and alcohol.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 179%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Examine lifestyle and install speed governor to
restrict physical movement to appropriate age level.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 179%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Check for sleep interruption and medicate if
necessary.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 179%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">For female model, check for flushing, overheating and
mood swings.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 179%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">For male model, check for repeated nighttime fluid
evacuation and excessive dripping.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 179%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 179%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">After 75 years or 75,000 miles</span></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 179%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Check for pulse.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 179%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Replace any worn or malfunctioning joints.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 179%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Flush malfunctioning hoses and replace or medicate if
required.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 179%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Rewrite warranty documentation including will, power
of attorney, spare parts donation card, etc.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 179%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">If nearing end of useful life, reinstall spiritual
enquiry module if requested.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 179%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Offer customer option of pre-paid chassis removal
service.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 179%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-50431475840526011062018-09-07T14:12:00.000-04:002018-09-07T14:12:46.179-04:00Donald Ain't No Don<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.0in; margin-right: 1.0in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2xkS_xx4f0A/W5K--4Z7fxI/AAAAAAAABTg/YjbfN_9PKw4lM3ejUr7YH9HDzWLA0l1nQCLcBGAs/s1600/Godfather.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="630" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2xkS_xx4f0A/W5K--4Z7fxI/AAAAAAAABTg/YjbfN_9PKw4lM3ejUr7YH9HDzWLA0l1nQCLcBGAs/s320/Godfather.jpg" width="168" /></a><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-size: 12.0pt;">“The silent circle of assent. The boss in complete control.
The loyalty oaths. The us-versus-them worldview. The lying about all things, large
and small, in service to some code of loyalty that put the organization above
morality and above the truth.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 6;"> </span>-
James Comey, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A Higher Loyalty<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On more than one occasion, Donald Trump
has been compared to a mob boss. Given his shady dealings and his insistence on
loyalty and total control, his organization does seem to bear some similarities
to the Mafia. But apparently actual mobsters have taken offense to these
comparisons.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mr. Anthony “Nine Toes” Tonnucci, the new
head of the Anti-defamation League of Cosa Nostra, recently spoke out in
support of his membership.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“We in the Mafia have devoted our lives to
creating and maintaining certain standards of behavior, standards which we take
great pride in. To see a two-bit outfit like the Trump organization being
mentioned in the same breath as ours is not only troubling, it is also a huge
insult to our people.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although Mr. Tonnucci concedes that Mr.
Trump may have had connections at one time or another to New York mobsters, he wants
to make it clear that Trump’s actions were not in keeping with the ethical
guidelines of the mob.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I know a lot of people have a negative
image of us,” said Tonnucci. “But for the most part, it is unjustified.
Although we may from time to time break certain so-called laws or even limbs,
we take pride in always following our own strict internal rules.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As an example, Mr. Tonnucci pointed to
contractual dealings between members. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Sure, we may not always comply with
statutory requirements. From time to time, we may even exact certain financial
or physical penalties against our competitors. But unlike that schlub Trump, we
always honor our contracts (including the killing ones) and make our payments
in full.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems that members of the
Anti-defamation League also have a bone to pick with Donald Trump when it comes
to how he runs his business.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“As you know,” said Tonnucci. “We
sometimes operate some less-than-kosher financial ventures but our ultimate
goal is always to eventually turn everything into a legitimate, aboveboard
business. In that regard, unlike that weasel Trump, we take pride in avoiding
corporate bankruptcies at all costs.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Drawing parallels between the Trump family
and any of the New York families seems to also rub mob members the wrong way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“While we know the Corleone family was
fictional,” said Tonnucci. “We do consider them to be one of us and therefore
take great offense when their name is slandered. In particular, it is offensive
to call Trump Don Donald. He is no Vito Corleone and to suggest otherwise is to
insult all great Mafia families. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Likewise, to suggest his son Don, Jr. is
like Fredo Corleone is highly offensive. Although Fredo had his faults, they
were sins of omission unlike the sins of commission made by Trump’s kid. And to
say that Trump’s former lawyer Michael Cohen was like a mob attorney is
insulting both to the Mafia and to mob attorneys everywhere. To even suggest
that Cohen could wear the mantle of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">consigliere</i>
is laughable.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Apparently the League is not only
concerned with Trump’s domestic activities; they also take issue with his
foreign adventures and possible ties to the Russian mob.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“The Russian mob is not American,” said
Tonnucci. “Hell, they’re not even a real mob. That’s why we can’t abide any
suggested connections between them, President Trump and us. We have a
longstanding, hard-won image to protect and any dealing Trump may have had with
Russian mobsters does nothing but tarnish the reputation of our homegrown
mobsters. If Trump wants to truly make America great again, he should start by
calling out those Russian thugs and standing up for his own country’s top crime
bosses.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When asked what he wants Mr. Trump to do
about all this, Tonnucci simply smiled and said: “Unless he likes sleeping with
the fishes, I think Mr. Trump knows what’s expected of him.”</span></div>
David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-76544290737248348412018-08-28T11:14:00.001-04:002018-08-28T11:14:27.978-04:00Maxime's E-mail Inbox<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PKu2WOGaEfs/W4VmkKee3XI/AAAAAAAABTU/xIa5XVsstSge2AgfWoMJ7y6MP7xUxWgrACLcBGAs/s1600/Max%2BBernier.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="551" data-original-width="980" height="179" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PKu2WOGaEfs/W4VmkKee3XI/AAAAAAAABTU/xIa5XVsstSge2AgfWoMJ7y6MP7xUxWgrACLcBGAs/s320/Max%2BBernier.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Former Conservative Party leadership
candidate Maxime Bernier has quit the Conservative caucus and is about to form
his own right-wing party. Unidentified hackers have released the following
e-mails from Bernier’s inbox:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">TO:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maxime<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">FROM:
Andrew<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What the hell is going on here? I thought
we had a deal: whoever won the PC leadership would get the full and unequivocal
support of the loser. Now you’ve gone and pulled this stunt. You’re going to
form your own party? May I suggest a name: the Know Nothing Party or the No MPs
Party. I hope you freeze in hell or in Beauce which, after all, is pretty much
the same thing.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">TO:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maxime<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">FROM:
Jagmeet<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Congratulations on breaking out on your
own and forming a new party. Canada has long been a proud multicultural and
multiparty country and I think it’s great that you are adding to at least one
of those traditions. Most of all, I want to sincerely thank you for taking this
step at this particular time. Let’s just say it takes some of the heat off me
in the NDP caucus.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">TO:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maxime<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">FROM:
Stephen<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’re really making me second guess some
of my past decisions, particularly appointing you to three different Cabinet
posts. You always were a bit of a pain in the ass but I figured making you a
minister of this or that would keep you happy. Well, now that I’m not around to
keep you on a short leash, look at the damage you’ve done? I may even have to
come out of retirement to restore my reputation and reunite the right.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">TO:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maxime<span style="mso-tab-count: 6;"> </span><u>CONFIDENTIAL</u><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">FROM:
Kellie<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hey, wassup, Max? Just heard you’re
leaving the party and forming your own. How come you didn’t tell me? You know
I’m a big fan and I know you’re a big supporter of <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Canadian values® </b>so give me a call and we’ll set up a meeting. Just
don’t tell that wimp, Andrew. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">P.S.
- Remind me to return your copy of Ayn Rand’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Fountainhead.</i> Great read, by the way.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">TO:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maxime<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">FROM:
Doug<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Way to go, Maxie boy! I didn’t think you
had it in you but I gotta say I’m impressed. That’s some pair of cojones, mon
frère. Look, I know a lotta folks are saying your new party is dead in the
water but just look at me. Who’d a thunk three years ago I’d be sitting here in
Toronto leading the Progressive Conservatives? The only thing that galls is
that word “progressive” so hang on and when I’m done here, I’d love to join
your party. Buck-a-beer forever!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">TO:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maxime<span style="mso-tab-count: 6;"> </span><u>TOP
SECRET</u><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">FROM:
Justin<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Congratulations Max. You know I’ve always
been a secret admirer of yours. After all, we French Canadians have to stick
together, eh? Even if I’m not from the Beauce or anywhere even that remotely Quebeçois.
Anyway, I wish you the best of luck. Here’s hoping you win a bunch of seats in
Quebec come the next election but just not the Liberal ones, LOL! Thanks again
for ensuring a second Liberal majority government.</span></span></div>
David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-60961530826848609072018-08-11T12:34:00.001-04:002018-08-11T12:34:50.318-04:00Buck-A-Burger<br />
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wE9ZSrrvPKs/W28PXrNAZxI/AAAAAAAABTM/_r0o8JUopFsPQTM-C2d0h6idyo5dXy2TwCEwYBhgL/s1600/Buck-A-Beer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wE9ZSrrvPKs/W28PXrNAZxI/AAAAAAAABTM/_r0o8JUopFsPQTM-C2d0h6idyo5dXy2TwCEwYBhgL/s320/Buck-A-Beer.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> American President Harry S. Truman
famously said “The buck stops here.” Ontario Premier Doug Ford, however, has
done him one better. He’s decided that the buck doesn’t stop with him. It
actually starts with him as evidenced by his new “buck-a-beer” initiative
slated for implementation in time for the upcoming Labor Day weekend.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> But that’s just the beginning. Rumor has
it that Premier Ford has tapped the top minds in his cabinet and plans to
extend his “buck-a” thinking throughout the province.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> First up is his new “buck-a-coffee”
initiative. Ford has reportedly contacted Tim Horton’s and wants them to bring
back coffee pricing from the previous century as in a large cup of coffee for
only a dollar. Apparently Starbucks was also contacted but expressed little
interest unless the premier was willing to also implement a
“five-bucks-a-coffee” program.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> Next up is Ford’s new “buck-a-burger”
plan. He’s apparently hoping to convince fast food chains across the province
to hearken back to the previous millennium and start offering hamburgers for a
dollar a piece. McDonald’s claims they’re already close to that target and
would only have to remove one patty in their McDouble to meet it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> Also in the planning stages is the new
“buck-a-liter” program. Ontario’s gasoline stations will be asked to sign on to
this new minimum floor pricing. Canada’s oil companies apparently have no
problem with this new legislated optional minimum price so long as they never
have to meet it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> Ontario’s smokers will undoubtedly be
pleased to hear that Doug Ford is hoping to bring back “buck-a-pack” pricing
for cigarettes. “It’s just cruel what folks have to fork out for a deck of
smokes these days,” said the premier. “When I was a kid, you could get a whole pack
for under a buck.” When asked about possibly implementing a “buck-a-joint” plan
for marijuana sales like when he was young, Ford had no comment.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> Looking long term, Premier Ford is hoping
to sell off the remaining government-owned shares in Ontario Hydro and let
electricity rates be governed by the free market. Eventually, he hopes to
convince private power generators to provide “buck-a-kilowatt-hour” which is
roughly five times the current peak rate. “That Hydro debt’s not going to
retire itself,” Ford reportedly quipped.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> Thinking outside the box has also
generated the soon-to-be-popular “three-buck-breakfast” tentatively planned by
the Tory government. “Remember back in the good old days when you could get two
eggs, bacon, home fries, toast and coffee for $2.99?” said Ford. “Well, that’s
something else I’d like to bring back.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> To help pay for his new programs and lost
revenues due to planned tax cuts, Premier Ford is looking to pare expenses,
especially in the healthcare sector. To that end, he hopes to introduce his new
“buck-a-visit” program wherein every visit to a doctor’s office, dentist’s
office, hospital, clinic and pharmacy would result in a one-dollar charge.
“Think of the millions in revenue that will generate,” said Ford, unmindful of
the roughly two-dollar administrative cost entailed in collecting each
one-dollar fee.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> Finally, Doug Ford has made it clear that
he was never happy with Kathleen Wynne’s rapidly implemented sizable increases
to Ontario’s minimum wage. If he has his way, his new “buck-an-hour” initiative
will reverse the extra one-dollar increase to $15 an hour scheduled for this
coming January. Ford claims there is no truth to the rumor that he initially
wanted to use the new “buck-an-hour” plan to reduce Ontario’s minimum wage to
that of the good old days of 1963, namely one-dollar an hour. </span></span></div>
David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-56798242594006077332018-07-31T10:32:00.000-04:002018-07-31T10:32:23.015-04:00New Constitutional Amendments<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-W6piBUJMPSs/W2ByjbfA2PI/AAAAAAAABS8/nmg14ZgFswIvIxJzhlGZSeyOsKpv6yjqACLcBGAs/s1600/U.%2BS.%2BConstitution.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="168" data-original-width="299" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-W6piBUJMPSs/W2ByjbfA2PI/AAAAAAAABS8/nmg14ZgFswIvIxJzhlGZSeyOsKpv6yjqACLcBGAs/s1600/U.%2BS.%2BConstitution.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"> <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> It seemed impossible that Donald Trump
could win the Republican presidential nomination and yet he did. Then it seemed
impossible that he could win the election but, against all odds, he did. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And now Trump is running roughshod over
the framework and principles of American governance. Clearly some new
Constitutional amendments beyond the current 27 are sorely needed. New
amendments like the following:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">28<sup>th</sup>
Amendment</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No person shall be elected to the office
of the President if he (1) fails to reveal his income tax returns for the
previous ten years, (2) has never held elected office or a rank in the military
at any level or (3) is congenitally incapable of telling the truth.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">29<sup>th</sup>
Amendment<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The right of a citizen of the United
States to vote shall be subject to the following conditions: (1) obtaining a
high school diploma, (2) passing the equivalent of a citizenship test and (3)
knowing the difference between true and false.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">30<sup>th</sup>
Amendment</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Congress may pass any law it deems
necessary to limit campaign financing contributions by individuals,
corporations or any other legal entity. Any allowable contribution must be made
directly to a candidate and must not be made anonymously. Any 5-4 U. S. Supreme
Court decision to the contrary whether having the word Citizens or the word
United in its style of cause shall be null and void and of no effect.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">31<sup>st</sup>
Amendment</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The right to vote shall not be infringed
or restricted by a citizen’s former criminal record, failure to own a photo ID
or inability to pay for any such documentation.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">32<sup>nd</sup>
Amendment</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gerrymandering from this point forward is
unlawful. The drawing of Congressional district boundaries shall henceforth be
left to an impartial neutral commission comprised of five honest citizens
having no political party membership or affiliation.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">33<sup>rd</sup>
Amendment</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If two or more of a sitting President’s
former or current Cabinet members refer to him as a moron, an idiot or an
imbecile, that shall be grounds for impeachment.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">34<sup>th</sup>
Amendment</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No citizen who has orange hair, orange
skin, an elaborate comb-over, an absence of conscience and an overinflated ego
shall qualify for the office of President.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">35<sup>th</sup>
Amendment</span></u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For the next ten years, no person shall be
elected to the office of President who has attained the age of 74 or greater.
This amendment automatically expires on January 1, 2029 or the death of the current
incumbent whichever comes first.</span></span></div>
David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-61682401246767514392018-07-22T16:49:00.000-04:002018-07-22T16:49:01.237-04:00Invasion From The North<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CntIsjT0mGs/W1TtOjagabI/AAAAAAAABSw/WGcvIbJ1u7YapoN8BlhnhS33PtVrJnUvQCLcBGAs/s1600/U.%2BS.%2BCustoms%2Band%2BBorder%2BProtection.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="150" data-original-width="150" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CntIsjT0mGs/W1TtOjagabI/AAAAAAAABSw/WGcvIbJ1u7YapoN8BlhnhS33PtVrJnUvQCLcBGAs/s1600/U.%2BS.%2BCustoms%2Band%2BBorder%2BProtection.png" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">BULLETIN:
Invasion Alert<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">TO:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All
Americans<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">FROM:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>U. S. Customs and Border Protection<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Recent attacks by Prime Minister Justin
Trudeau against President Trump suggest that Canada is now on a wartime footing
against our country and that we must remain ever vigilant. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>President Trump has answered Mr. Trudeau’s
incendiary attack with a typically measured response, stating that the Canadian
prime minister made “false statements” and calling him “dishonest & weak.”
Ordinarily such a response would be enough to silence a weak-willed state like
Canada but recent intelligence indicates otherwise.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is easy to dismiss such a small player
but Americans should be aware that there are methods other than military that
Canada can employ. In particular, we must be on guard for an invasion of illegal
Canadian immigrants seeking to undermine our nation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thanks to a 4,000-mile undefended and
overly porous border, millions of barely-documented Canadians threaten to
overrun the United States. Unless we take action now, we risk becoming a
minority in our own country.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most Americans see little or no evidence
of this invasion since they live in areas that so far have been spared an
influx of Canadians. However, those living within fifty miles of the border
have likely run into more than one of these folks usually while shopping at the
local mall.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although these Canadian “shoppers” tend to
blend in, there are a number of tell-tale signs. During winter months, these
folks often wear down vests, oversized boots and knitted hats they call
“tuques.” In the summer, they are often spotted sporting Bermuda shorts, socks
and sandals.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Other identifying indicia include attempts
at spending their own Monopoly-style currency consisting of different colored
bills and large coins called “loonies” and “toonies.” Although many of these
folks speak what generally passes for English, their repeated use of the words
“eh?” and “sorry” tends to give them away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If in doubt, ask the suspected Canadian to
spell such words as “honor”, “neighbor” or “color.” Typically, they’ll add the
letter “u.” If they’re clever enough to avoid that trap, they’ll more than
likely fail the test of identifying the word “check.” If they spell it
“cheque”, you’ve caught yourself a Canadian.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Regrettably, this immigration problem is
not restricted to the northern border area. For decades now, and most often
from November to April, millions of these folks continue further south
bypassing the northern areas and overrunning certain southern states,
particularly Florida and Arizona.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These so called “snowbirds” seem to think
that it is their right to take up residence wherever the temperature is above
70 degrees (or 21 degrees Celsius, as they call it). These winter visitors tend
to be older and, as with the summertime cross-border shoppers, favor Bermuda
shorts, socks and sandals.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A more recent trend of Canadian
immigration is the insidious introduction of their cultural traits into
American society. Many of these immigrants speak of such things as “socialized
medicine”, “gun control” and “welfare” thereby infecting many Americans with
dangerous alien concepts and threatening our cultural institutions and our very
way of life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sadly, this Canadian immigration problem
only seems to be getting worse. Not only are these people inundating Florida
and Arizona, they are now also invading contiguous warm weather states like
California, New Mexico, Georgia and the Carolinas. Like any invasive,
non-native species which encounters no natural enemies, Canadians will go
wherever the sun and discount shopping take them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you spot an unwanted Canadian, alert
the authorities but don’t be alarmed. Although they have currently taken great
offense to President Trump’s personal attacks, they’re generally inoffensive
and mild-mannered so long as you don’t annoy them by pointing out their lack of
homegrown success in postseason NHL competition.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At this point, we don’t think the problem
is serious enough to warrant building a northern border wall. But if we start
hearing rumblings about making Florida or Arizona Canada’s eleventh province,
we may have to revisit the issue.</span></div>
David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-21121458199070951022018-07-15T16:15:00.000-04:002018-07-15T16:15:28.868-04:00Donald Trump: Literary Giant<br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/--sVjYE3GYHo/W0urTSUHVQI/AAAAAAAABSk/cdmLI6jAa-IfIPyX75XMxRaKmf0Lmv0AwCLcBGAs/s1600/Trump%2Btweeting.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="686" data-original-width="1200" height="182" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/--sVjYE3GYHo/W0urTSUHVQI/AAAAAAAABSk/cdmLI6jAa-IfIPyX75XMxRaKmf0Lmv0AwCLcBGAs/s320/Trump%2Btweeting.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As we approach the one-and-a-half-year
anniversary of Donald Trump’s presidency, undoubtedly commentators will take it
upon themselves to assess his performance for the eighteen months ending on July
20<sup>th</sup>. And, in all likelihood, many of those assessments will not be
flattering.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet from where I sit, The Donald has not
been an unmitigated disaster. Notwithstanding the numerous racist, sexist and
puerile tweets from the Tweeter-in-Chief and the countless dysfunctions
emanating from the White House, President Trump should be given credit for his
accomplishments.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First up is his revolutionary
communication strategy. Love it or hate it, Trump’s use of Twitter as a means
of announcing his administration’s positions, plans and policies has been a
huge success. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Trump has violated just about every
traditional political rule of conduct and jettisoned conventional
communications strategies. He has fashioned himself into America’s first social
media president with an electronic bully pulpit having forty million followers.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of carefully crafted press
releases and intricately massaged messages from the White House press
secretary, we now have direct, unfiltered, unedited pronouncements from the
President himself. No more inoffensive, non-contentious bureaucratese; now it’s
Trump’s stream-of-consciousness 24/7.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But governance-by-Twitter is not Trump’s
only accomplishment. Believe it or not, the President has broken new literary
ground both verbally and in written form. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In this past year alone, the President has
expanded the English language beyond even what George W. Bush managed to do in
his two terms in office. Thanks to Mr. Trump, we now have such words as
“bigly”, “yuge”, “schlonged”, “covfefe” and “euphenism.” Not since Mrs.
Malaprop in Richard Sheridan’s play <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The
Rivals</i> has anyone twisted the English language so frequently and
delightfully.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My favorite accomplishment in this vein is
what <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Los Angeles Times </i>columnist
Virginia Heffernan called Trump’s tweet that Steve Bannon “not only lost his
job, he lost his mind.” She labeled it “zeugma” which, it turns out, means a
modifier used for two words in a different way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who would have thought that Donald Trump
would become a presidential linguistic giant? Not only has he “authored”
several books, it turns out that he has also broken new presidential ground in
the use of literary devices.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Zeugma is only the latest in the
President’s forays into the creative use of language. Think “foreshadowing” as
evidenced by Mr. Trump’s favorite response to media questions: “We’ll see.
We’ll see.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or what about his carefully crafted
euphemisms such as his “bigger button”, “tiny hands”, “drain the swamp” and
“locker room talk”? Or his creative insults like “Sad!”, “Pathetic!”, “the failing
New York Times” and “fake news”?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then there are his endless epithets such
as “Little Marco”, “Crooked Hillary”, “Low Energy Jeb”, “Lyin’ Ted”, “Little
Rocket Man” and “Sloppy Steve.” And the “millions” of uses of hyperbole like
“the largest audience to witness an inauguration, period”, “we’re going to win
so much you may even get tired of winning”, “my I. Q. is one of the highest”
and “we’re going to build a wall and Mexico is going to pay for it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Donald Trump’s final and perhaps greatest
accomplishment has been the validation of the American myth of the self-made
man. As Adlai Stevenson, Jr. once said: “In America, anybody can become
President. That’s one of the risks you take.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For that poor youngster waiting to inherit a
million or two from his father or that failing businessman filing for
bankruptcy for the third time, thanks to Donald Trump, there is now hope. You
may not be able to hang on to your house but not to worry; you’ll still have a
shot at the White House.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-84538098135201344292018-07-05T16:52:00.002-04:002018-07-05T16:52:44.200-04:00Death Notice for Civility<br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E5Fk_PtPN8Q/Wz6FAVjm9xI/AAAAAAAABSY/cCzBGHK3jdc8faWIs7xN4gwtmH8k3AcHgCLcBGAs/s1600/Coffin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="408" data-original-width="612" height="213" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E5Fk_PtPN8Q/Wz6FAVjm9xI/AAAAAAAABSY/cCzBGHK3jdc8faWIs7xN4gwtmH8k3AcHgCLcBGAs/s320/Coffin.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><br /></span></u></div>
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<u><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">WASHINGTON,
D. C. – July 4, 2018<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The American family is sad to announce the
death of Civility. Born in 1776, Civility was present at the country’s founding
and was carefully nurtured by her Founding Fathers including George Washington,
John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. Her enduring effect can be seen throughout the
nation’s founding documents including the Constitution and the Declaration of
Independence.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Over the years, Civility helped a young
nation grow and thrive assisted by her siblings Reason and Compromise. Her calming
presence allowed for difficult issues to be discussed sensibly often leading to
mutually acceptable solutions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hers was not an easy life and, in fact, in
the early 1860s, she was hit with a life-threatening ailment called the Civil
War. Despite four years of severe illness, Civility persevered and helped
oversee the reunification of the nation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In every age and era, Civility came under
attack from many sides but usually was able to transcend the petty squabbles of
the day and overcome many strident differences. Her ever-present equanimity
helped defeat historical demons like bigotry, hatred and inequality. She was
even able to survive such nasty pestilences as Jim Crow and the KKK.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was not advancing years that felled
Civility for even at the age of 165 during the early 1940s, she was able to
unite the nation in its fight against fascism and tyranny. She became a shining
beacon and a glowing example for all citizens of the world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was hoped that Civility could continue
to prosper, thrive and grow and thereby spread her good cheer everywhere.
However, in recent years, she made fewer and fewer public appearances and was
quickly forgotten and ignored.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The nascence of her fatal illness is hard
to identify. Some say it began ten years ago with the advent of the Birther
Movement. Others believe her fate was sealed in the presidential campaign of
2016 which was marked by a precipitous increase in name-calling, vitriol and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ad hominem </i>attacks. The proliferation of
lies, slander and hate-filled invective clearly took a toll on her failing
health.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Much of the blame for Civility’s decline
can be placed on one party, possibly even one man. Doctors attending at her
deathbed noted multiple wounds and cuts inflicted upon her just within the last
two years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Civility’s body was riddled with racist
sleights, character assassination, gross exaggerations and outright lies. Even
when the source of these attacks was identified, they were repeated again and
again with few persons intervening to stop them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People from all sides pretended to
befriend Civility but their actions were often disingenuous or too little, too
late. In fact, many people began to engage in uncivil retaliations themselves
thereby further endangering the Public Discourse and undermining Civility’s
chances for survival.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On her deathbed, Civility was surrounded
by many well wishers but few true supporters. Some paid homage to her
achievements but the praise was hollow and ineffective and did little to stem
the onrushing tide of boorish attacks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Civility was predeceased by Tolerance,
Patience and Politeness. She is survived by her ailing mother Democracy who
many fear does not have long to live.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A memorial service for Civility will be
held on November 6<sup>th</sup>. In lieu of flowers or donations, mourners are
urged to exercise their franchise.</span></div>
David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26887370.post-46540547430155796542018-06-28T18:14:00.000-04:002018-06-28T18:14:31.937-04:00Associate Justice Trump<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2XqxTW-iPZQ/WzVdgCIPsII/AAAAAAAABSM/O0OxKZl4RzEfJ5vCAZ_RnnCY9swmP3JmwCLcBGAs/s1600/Trump-Gavel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="570" height="179" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2XqxTW-iPZQ/WzVdgCIPsII/AAAAAAAABSM/O0OxKZl4RzEfJ5vCAZ_RnnCY9swmP3JmwCLcBGAs/s320/Trump-Gavel.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wishing to facilitate a quick replacement
for retiring Justice Anthony Kennedy, President Trump took to Twitter today and
announced that he would be nominating himself to serve on the U. S. Supreme
Court.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“The Democrats wanted to delay the
procedure and make us wait until after the mid-term elections,” said Trump. “But
they didn’t count on this brilliant move, did they?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Given an opportunity to seal the Court’s
rightwing bias, the president wasted no time in naming himself as the new person
on the bench, later confirming the announcement tweet at a hastily arranged
press conference.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Who better to carry out my agenda than
me,” Trump said. “After all, I’m the guy who won the last election promising
more conservative judges.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dismissing the fact that he is not a
lawyer or a judge, the president trumpeted his legal abilities as more than
sufficient to qualify him for the highest court in the land.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Look,” said Trump. “I have more legal
knowledge than half the judges out there. How do you think I’ve been able to
get away with not revealing my income tax returns, appointing family members to
my Administration and engaging in all manner of conflicts of interest?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some Democrats are confident that the
Senate Judiciary Committee will not let Trump’s self-nomination stand but, according
to Trump, that seems unlikely.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“How many senators on that committee?” asked
Trump. “21, right? And eleven are Republicans? Believe me, there’s no problem
there. Believe me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Questioned about whether he would have
time to carry out both his presidential duties and those of an associate
justice, Trump assured the assembled press corps that it would not be a
problem.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I barely spend any time doing presidency
stuff as it is,” said Trump. “And if it looks like I need more time to do
judgey things, I’ll just cut back on my golf and TV viewing.”</span></div>
David Martinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00483427700001203723noreply@blogger.com0