Zen And The Art Of Being The Donald

Herewith a selection of proverbs, koans and riddles from the recently discovered text Zen and the Art of Being The Donald:

 

“There is no such thing as a lie. The continued repetition of a falsehood eventually makes it true.”

“Watch and listen to the fox and his friends for they are the accurate reporters of truth.”

“Loyalty is a one-way street. Demand it from those around you but do not feel compelled to reciprocate.”

“Be careful to avoid repeating a word or phrase as some may see this as a tell indicative of untruthfulness.”

“Be cognizant of the difference between personal and corporate bankruptcy and use it to your full advantage.”

“If caught in a lie, simply add another, preferably a real whopper.”

“Remember that crowd size is nothing more than a rough estimate.”

“It is easier to insult than to answer the question.”

“Sticks and stones can break someone’s bones but names can truly hurt them.”

“A bush in the hand is worth exactly one grabbed pussy.”

“The one-eared man is king in the land of the tone deaf.”

“The only thing that is ultimately real about your journey is the individual you are cheating at the moment.”

“Whoever you are screwing over, dedicate yourself wholly to the task.”

“You are the most knowledgeable person in the universe.”

“When you remove something, burn it up completely, like a good bonfire, leaving no trace of your fingerprints.”

“Never fully reveal yourself or your tax returns.”

“When you reach the top, keep firing.”

“Order your steaks well done and your trusted friends rare.”

“To study Trumpism is to study me and me alone.”

“Beware the bearer of news for he and it are most likely fake.”

“Do not trust vote counts unless emanating from the Electoral College.”

“The menu is not the meal although the name can be the hotel.”

“Knowledge is unnecessary to rule.”

“Let your mind wander in the pure and simple, especially the simple.”

“Practice mindlessness until it becomes part of your daily life.”

“Be like the birds in the tree and tweet without thought.”

“Not thinking about anything is Zen. Not caring about anything is Trumpism.”

“No snowflake shall ever fall on the white house.”

“Listen to the sound of one hand shivving.”

“Do not seek the truth; only offer your opinions.”

“A government needs a liberal like a fish needs a bicycle.”

“If there is an alt-right there must also be an alt-left.”

“In the end, it’s all about me.”