Monday, June 27, 2011

If Nominated, I Will Not Notice



“Gov. Mitch Daniels of Indiana said early Sunday that he would not become a candidate for the Republican presidential nomination.....”
- The N. Y. Times - May 22, 2011

Mitch who? Oh, well, never mind. Given the ever-increasing number of declared non-candidates for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination, I felt that it was probably time for me to announce my intentions as well.
Despite the urging of virtually no one, I have decided not to enter my name for the Republican nomination. I regret the inconvenience my decision may have caused to my supporter but I have every reason to believe that he will get over it.
Some will say that I withdrew my name due to family considerations. Let me make this as clear as I possibly can. I am not withdrawing in order to spend more time with my family. In fact, if the truth be known, my wife and daughter were my two biggest fans and specifically asked that I spend less time with them. Sadly, their fondest wish will now go unfulfilled.
Others have speculated that certain closet-based skeletons and previously undisclosed personal scandals caused me to reconsider my position. Let me unequivocally refute that notion right now. Without commenting on my financial shortcomings and the several unfortunate animal-related allegations, I am proud of my record and would not be ashamed to discuss these matters publicly in a presidential campaign. Given today’s decision, however, such a discussion is not presently required.
Conjecture was rife (or perhaps rifeless) that I would not run due to my past political record. That is simply not true. There is nothing in my political record that I am ashamed of or that would cause me to withdraw my name from consideration. That is, of course, because there is nothing in my political record.
Initially I had thought that the Republican Party deserved a wide array of candidates for the upcoming nomination battle. Clearly there was no shortage of right-of-center candidates including those on the hard right, the ultra right and the just plain nutty right. But there was a definite lack of left-of-center potential nominees.
With that fact in mind, I was prepared to offer myself up as a candidate to appeal to that segment of the Party faithful. However, it turns out that there is not a great deal of demand for even a centrist candidate, much less a so-called liberal one. I have been advised that the Democratic Party also has no current need for nominees of that persuasion.
In the end, I decided to absent myself from the upcoming nomination race because I realized that there was already a wealth of qualified individuals. With sterling candidates like Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Ron Paul, Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich to choose from, there was no need to offer myself to the voters. I’m sure that one of those folks will make an acceptable Republican presidential nominee. At least that’s one thing Barack Obama and I can agree on.
In short, if nominated, I will not notice; if elected, I will not care.

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