Monday, July 14, 2008

Alberta's New Plate Motto

Albertans tend to be opinionated, ornery folk. And if there’s one thing that riles an Albertan, it’s somebody trying to change the slogan on his license plate.

Premier Ed Stelmach’s government is apparently looking to change the province’s plate motto from "Wild Rose Country" to "Strong and Free" which is the English translation of the official provincial motto "Fortis et Liber." But a recent survey indicates most Albertans want to stick with the current phrase.

Perhaps Premier Stelmach and his advisors should have considered other options that might have been more popular. Options such as "Oil’s Well With Us", "Crude to the Last Drop" and "Because We Can." They’d likely even garner more support for candidates like "Ottawa Sucks", "Freeze in the Dark" and "We Still Hate Trudeau."

But why restrict this exercise to Alberta? Other provinces need an update on their license plate slogans, too. How about these new provincial plate mottos?:

Newfoundland and Labrador: Cod Help Us
Nova Scotia: Canada’s Pogey Playground
New Brunswick: Just Passing Through
Prince Edward Island: Spuds ‘N Suds
Québec: Canada’s National Province
Ontario: We Know Best
Manitoba: Wheat, Water & Winnipeg
Saskatchewan: Even Tommy Douglas Left
British Columbia: Everyone Ends Up Here Eventually

And while we’re at it, let’s give an overhaul to our national motto as well. Let’s face it, "a mare usque ad mare" is definitely outdated. Not only is it in a dead language, it’s not even accurate since we’re bordered by three seas, not just two.

Forget the Latin slogan. Instead, let’s come up with something new, something jazzy, something more reflective of our national identity. Like one of these candidates:

* We’re NOT Americans!
* One Nation Underdog
* Canada: The Committee-Created Country
* Corn Flakes / Flocons de Mais
* We Ì Asymmetrical Federalism
* The 19th Century Belongs to Us
* We’re Number Two!
* We Actually Like Curling
* Peace, Order and Lots and Lots of Government
* Two Loonies Make a Twonie
* Canada: The Dysfunctional Mosaic
* Mounties, Maples and Medicare
* Skates, Skis and Ski-Doos
* Ten Provinces and a Lot of Empty Space
* It’s Not So Bad, Eh?
* Two Months of Tough Sledding
* Deux ou Trois Nations
* The Defederated Federation
* Alberta Plus

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