Polipalooza 2008

Remember Lollapalooza? It was the pop culture music festival that travelled across North America for much of the 90s. Now there’s Polipalooza, a quadrennial, multi-state touring festival featuring the best in modern American politics. Some of the acts you’ll see include:

Barack Obama
Performing with his backup group, The Agents of Change, Barack Obama produces some of the newest, coolest political vibes on the campaign trail. Obama is half African and half American yet, ironically, he may not be African-American. Nevertheless, his smooth anti-war chops are attracting fans from ghettoes to gated communities.

Hillary Clinton
As a backup singer, Hillary Clinton helped her husband headline his political tours in 1992 and 1996. Now she’s on her own, sort of. Hillary sings from the same song sheet but still sometimes needs the backing vocals of husband Bill to get the crowd on its feet.

John Edwards
Having played second fiddle to Big Bad Al Gore in 2000, John Edwards is now looking to hit the big time with his own populist stylings. Although Edwards has the look of a young Jack Kennedy, he can belt out the anti-corporate ballads like Ralph Nader himself.

Rudy Giuliani
He may not have the golden pipes of a Ronald Reagan, but Rudy Giuliani does have one thing: consistency. By always performing to a unique 9-11 syncopated beat, this former New York City cat is, as the kids say, scary cool.

Mitt Romney
Here’s a performer who knows how to please a crowd, any crowd. With an uncanny knack for sensing an audience’s mood, Mitt will tailor his set list to suit any political venue. From the small "l" liberal favorites preferred by his former constituents in Massachusetts to the hard right standards loved in the South, Romney always gives his political fans just what they want.

Mike Huckabee
Polipalooza 2008 promises political performances of all types and stripes and Mike Huckabee is no exception. Not only does "Two-buck Huck" perform the old gospel standards, he does it in such a pleasant and charming way that he can even get non-believers to sing along.

John McCain
He’s the oldest performer on the tour but still the most unpredictable. One day he’s the star of the show; the next day he’s threatening to leave the tour. But whatever he does, McCain figures to be around for a long time, maybe even as long as that late, great perennial quadrennial Harold Stassen.

Polipalooza 2008 promises you the best in modern political entertainment. We’ve got it all from the hard right fundamentalist croonings of Mike Huckabee to the loony left stylings of Dennis Kucinich. Get your tickets now because you won’t see this group of amazing acts again until at least 2012.