Rapid Job Turnover Commission

"Retiring baby boomers have sparked an unprecedented churn of workers within the federal government, starting at the top where nearly 60 per cent of executives spend less than a year in their jobs....[P]ay records showed that 40 per cent of Canada’s public servants started and ended the year in different jobs. That jumped to more than 75 per cent for some occupations."
- The Ottawa Citizen - November 19, 2007

The federal government has identified rapid job turnover as a serious problem and has taken steps to rectify the matter. A temporary Treasury Board spokesperson today announced that John Servant, formerly Assistant Deputy Minister of the Department of Communication and Obfuscation, has been seconded by the Board to head up the new Rapid Job Turnover Initiative.

Asked to comment on his new mandate, Mr. Servant indicated that he had only been in the job for two days and was therefore not yet able to fully describe his new functions.

"I can definitely say that I am pleased to be heading up this new initiative," said Mr. Servant. "And I look forward to working with the fine group of talented people assembled for this task."

Joining Mr. Servant for this new project will be Mary Worker who will be Acting Head of the Rapid Job Turnover Commission. Mary joins the RJTC after serving for nearly five months as the Temporary Chair of the Soaring Loonie Recalibration Board. Prior to working for the SLRB, Ms. Worker held numerous positions in various departments for different limited terms.

"Frankly, I think this new initiative will help reorder and restructure government for the coming challenges of the 21st century," said Ms. Worker. "Or at the very least it will help me get that ADM appointment I’ve always wanted."

Ms. Worker’s first action as Temporary Chair was to appoint Tom Bureau as Temporary Vice Chair of the RJTC. Since January, Mr. Bureau has been Canada’s Obfuscator General after serving in various positions that are listed on the third, fourth and fifth pages of his c.v.

"This is a great opportunity for me," said Mr. Bureau. "Particularly since I will be retiring in six months and thus will be able to bring a unique perspective to the task."

None of the new appointees was able to give many details about their new jobs or, for that matter, about their previous positions. When asked to provide further information about the new initiative, the temporary Treasury Board spokesperson indicated that he had just been given a lateral transfer to the Department of Communications and Obfuscation and was no longer able to comment on the RJT program.

"I am no longer with Treasury Board," said the former spokesperson. "But I’m sure that my replacement will be able to provide all the information you need very shortly."

The former temporary spokesperson’s part-time replacement was not immediately available to comment since she was being interviewed for the position of John Servant’s administrative assistant. Her voicemail, however, did include the following message:

"Hello-Bonjour. You’ve reached the office of the Treasury Board’s temporary part-time spokesperson for the Rapid Job Turnover Initiative. I’m either on the phone or busy applying for another job. Please leave your name and number and hope for the best."