Tell America It's OK

[“Tell America It’s Great”]….was the brainchild of the Garden Collective, a creative agency based in Toronto, and in the videos, a diverse and polite group of Canadians earnestly recite all the things they like about the United States.

-        The New York Times - October 17, 2016

     “Tell America It’s Great” is a social media campaign designed by Canadians looking to cheer up Americans in these days of division and political turmoil. It features Tweets and YouTube videos from ordinary Canadians praising everything from NASA to Tupac Shakur.

     Such a project, of course, has to be subject to some editing and not all of the Canadian encomiums could be included. Here are just a few of the Tweets and video messages that ended up on the cutting room floor:

     “You’re great America, especially for keeping all that crap south of our border. Thanks for helping us keep out the right-wing crazy.”

     “Thanks for bringing us the most entertaining presidential election in living memory. That Donald Trump is outright hilarious. Even if it encourages some Canadian nut job to run for office that’s a small price to pay for the months of entertainment your guy has provided.”

     “America, you’re a fantastic neighbor. Except for that invasion of Quebec in 1775, the War of 1812 when you burned York to the ground and those crazy Fenian raids just after the Civil War. But, hey, even good neighbors occasionally have the odd border dispute, right?”

     “U-S-A! U-S-A! Just a quick cheer to say you’re the greatest for showing us how things should be done, especially when it comes to healthcare. So long as you’ve got the money, you can get great medical care without waiting. I’m sure the other 90% of you will eventually have that option as well.”

     “You’re the best for sharing Donald Trump with us. Thanks to him, we Canadians now show more interest in your elections than our own. Hopefully we’ll learn to take more care with ours in the future.”

     “When it comes to guns, missiles and nukes, you’re the best. Thanks for not using them on us.”

     “It’s always nice to have a neighbor who takes an interest in our new prime minister, Justin Trudeau. The fact that you really like him makes us stop and reexamine his tenure in case we’re missing something.”

     “We think you’re awesome. We just don’t want you pouring over the border now that Donald Trump won because then I’m afraid we’d have to build a wall and make you pay for it. No offense, eh?”