National Retail Shopping Day

Another honorable mention on the Demockeracy.com site (www.demockeracy.com) for the following piece:

In a televised address to the nation last night, President Bush proudly announced the establishment of a new national holiday:

"My fellow Americans. I asked for this time to address you on a matter of true national significance.

"As you’ll recall, in the dark days after 9/11, I urged you to put aside your fears, to go about your daily activities and, most importantly, to shop. You took up the challenge and, even in the face of ever-increasing trade deficits and unprecedented numbers of mortgage defaults, you have continued to shop.

"But it is almost six years later and we still have not defeated the terrorists. In fact, thanks to some nervous Nellies and weak-kneed Democrats, in places like Iraq the terrorists are getting even stronger.

"So I am asking you to dig down deep and sacrifice even more. I want you to shop for America, shop for our troops overseas and shop to defeat al Qaeda.

"In the spirit of our parents who bought war bonds and did without in World War II, I want you to go that extra mile, extend that final line of credit and buy that additional unneeded item. Do it for America and for future generations. Otherwise the terrorists have won.

"To help in this new initiative of sacrifice, I am declaring the day after Christmas to be a new public holiday called National Retail Shopping Day. I want all of you to go to your local mall on that day and spend whatever you can to help the war effort.

"And in the true spirit of sacrifice, on National Retail Shopping Day, I want you to buy only retail. Forego wholesale purchases and discounts for this one day and show the terrorists what we are really made of.

"Remember; our country is built on frivolous and excessive purchases. Where would we be without our history of expenditures on unneeded luxury goods? So please support your local retail merchants as much as you can and have a Happy National Retail Shopping Day.

"Goodnight and may God bless America and her bountiful retail establishments."