Queer Like John

Given the widespread negative reaction to her comment about former Sen. John Edwards of North Carolina, conservative pundit Ann Coulter today issued the following apology:

I don’t know what all the fuss is about. So I called Edwards a faggot. So what? The little liberal crybaby is now crying for his mommy because the big, bad columnist called him a name.

Whatever happened to "Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me?" The next thing you know, he’s going to start whining every time I call him a "liberal." Oh, boohoo.

Let’s get serious here for a moment. If you look up the word "faggot" in the dictionary, it’s defined as a "bundle of sticks." So I called poor Johnny boy a bundle of sticks. Big deal. I get called "stick lady" or worse all the time. Be a mensch, John, or whatever the kikes call it.

And while we’re at it, what’s all the brouhaha about my using the word "raghead?" It’s a perfectly accurate term to describe some wog with a towel on his head. If people are going to take offense at that, then why don’t we just ban words like "gook", "spic" and "nigger", too?

The last time I looked, there was a little something in this country called the First Amendment. That means the right to free speech, a right that I proudly exercise on a daily, if not hourly, basis.

Anyway, Rush, Rudy, Mitt and the boys say I should apologize. I’m not sure for what. But if that’s what it takes to get them off my back (and to boost sales of the soon-to-be-released paperback edition of my book "Godless: The Church of Liberalism"), here goes:

I am truly sorry and deeply regret if anyone, including that little fairy Edwards, was in any way offended by my remarks. And if someone is going to be upset by my upcoming reference to that "homo" Obama, just remember, that’s what Canadians call whole milk. Then again, they’ve got socialized medicine, the frozen queers.