When it comes to Canada, most Americans
assume that there aren’t that many differences between our two countries. Sure,
we have socialized medicine, recognize the Queen of England, use the metric
system and say “Sorry” and “eh” a little too much. But beyond that, Americans
figure we’re basically just like them.
Well, not so fast, Americans. Looking
beyond Mounties, maple syrup and poutine, there are lots of subtle linguistic
differences that mark us as distinctly Canadian. Take the following examples:
packing
heat: In the U. S.,
packing heat means carrying a firearm. In Canada, on the other hand, packing
heat means carrying a couple of hand warmers inside your gloves.
double-double: In the U. S., double-double means two life
sentences for a capital crime. In Canada, it means a coffee with two sugars and
two creams.
cold
one: South of the
border, it’s a name for a stiff in the morgue. Up north, it’s a chilled bottle
of beer.
rouge: Americans recognize this as a cosmetic for
lips or cheeks. Canadians know it as a single point in Canadian football.
open
carry: In the U. S.,
this means carrying your firearm in public. In Canada, it means carrying your
marijuana in public.
loonie: Americans use this word to describe a crazy
person. Canadians use it to describe our one-dollar coin.
trump: In the U. S., trump means the President. In
Canada, it means the chosen wild suit for a hand of bridge.
25
degrees: For
Americans, this is really cold. For Canadians, it’s pretty hot.
stars
and bars: Diehard
southerners recognize this as the first national flag of the Confederacy.
Canadians, however, know it as a northern midwinter pub crawl.
homo: A pejorative term in the U. S. for someone
who is gay. Not in Canada where it’s shorthand for whole milk.
HMO: Throughout the U. S., this stands for a
health maintenance organization. For Canadians, it’s a bit puzzling, perhaps a
capitalized misspelling of the name for whole milk?
healthcare: Americans recognize this as a type of
expensive insurance carried by some. Canadians see it as a free service
available to all.
heavy
duty battery: South of
the border, this is a form of serious physical assault. North of the border,
it’s an essential car part for winter driving.
senator: In the U. S., a senator is an elected federal
officeholder who can do significant damage. A Canadian senator, on the other
hand, is an appointed federal officeholder who is generally harmless.
extra
magazine: A sometimes
illegal extension for handguns to dramatically increase the number of rounds an
American gun owner can fire. In Canada, an extra magazine is an additional
periodical located on the table in a doctor’s waiting room.
locked
and loaded: An American
uses this phrase to indicate that his firearms are ready for action. For a
Canadian, it means spending the night in the drunk tank for public
intoxication.
melting
pot: Americans
recognize this term as a description of their country’s immigration philosophy.
Canadians know it as a cooking appliance for making weed brownies.
stand-your-ground: In some parts of the U. S., stand-your-ground
refers to a legal doctrine justifying the shooting of unarmed individuals. In
Canada, it means the right to argue your point of view in the face of a strong
counterargument.
