Let’s face it. Most of us gripe about the
taxes we pay and how they’re wasted on all manner of frivolous things but few
of us do anything about it.
The reason, of course, is that we see
little connection between the individual four or five-figure tax bill we pay
and the billions of dollars that get spent on who knows what. There may be lots
of waste but it appears rather nebulous.
Well what if we changed the way government
spending is tracked and allotted each personal tax levy to all or part of some
very specific expenditure? I suspect we might then be more interested in where
our money goes, way more interested. In fact, I’m guessing that such a system
might generate so much interest and outrage that almost every tax-paying
citizen would become very, very politically involved.
Don’t believe me? Let’s pretend that such
a system is now in place and with your IRS notice of tax paid, you also
received a notice of expenditure. A notice of expenditure that let you know
exactly where your tax levy was going to be spent. Here are just a few examples
of the kind of communication you might receive:
1. The
Government of the United States thanks you for your tax payment of $6,564 and
is pleased to inform you that it will be spent on the maintenance and
refurbishment of one physical desk and seat in the U. S. Senate chamber.
2. The IRS wishes to confirm the amount of
$8,789 on your tax account. We look forward to receiving the outstanding
balance owing. In the meantime, we wanted you to know that your taxes will be
used to partially pay for the sound editing on one of the Department of Veterans
Affairs’ TV commercials showing what a great job they’re doing.
3. This note of thanks accompanying your IRS
notice comes from me, Joe Back Bencher, the honorable Congressman from Whalebone
Bay, Alaska. Your kind (albeit mandatory) tax payment of $15,343 will just
about cover three round trip tickets so I can visit the wife and kids and drum
up some more donations to help me get reelected so I can continue to do the
nation’s business.
4. Hi there and thanks again for timely
paying your tax bill of $3,397. As the Undersecretary of the Department of
Generally Useless Studies and Reports, I thought you might like to know that
the entirety of your taxes will be used to review, edit and photocopy our upcoming
study: “An enquiry into a possible new public slogan for the Department of
Generally Useless Studies and Reports.” If you’d like a copy of the final
report, let us know and we’ll add the $19.95 charge onto your tax bill for next
year.
5. Hello. I’m N. Trenched Incumbent, the Representative
for Kicking Pig Pass, Montana. You’ve done your part to make America great so I
want to let you know what your tax contribution means to us, the members of the
House Standing Committee on Alcohol, Tobacco and Medical Marijuana. Your
payment of $5,409 will finance the purchase of twelve new chairs so that we can
henceforth become the Sitting Committee on Alcohol, Tobacco and Medical
Marijuana. Just kidding, of course; we’re using the money to finance a
work-study retreat in Colorado.
6. I’m former Representative Aaron Schock of
Illinois and I want to thank you for ponying up your share of our national tax
bill to the tune of $734. While I am saddened to see that your taxable income
is that low, I want you to know that even your meager payment helped our
government be the best government it could be. In my case, you can take
personal satisfaction in knowing that, thanks to you, I was able to purchase a humidor
and an umbrella stand for the “Downton Abbey” makeover of my former
Congressional office.
