It looks like Mike Duffy is not the only diarist in the family if the following entries from his wife Heather’s journal can be believed:
October 10, 2008
Mikey came home very upset today. In fact,
I can still hear him downstairs kicking the furniture and yelling at the dog.
It’s really unfair what the media is saying about him. Just because he rebroadcast
the “false starts” interview with Stéphane Dion and called Elizabeth May’s
views “bizarre” and “off the wall”, they’re saying that he’s biased towards the
Conservatives in the upcoming election.
That’s just not right. Everybody knows
that Mikey favors any party that can help him attain his lifelong dream of a
Senate appointment. In the past, he might just as easily have favored the
Liberals if they were in the lead. But that goofy Dion guy has about as much
chance as a live lobster at a Cavendish church social so why should Mikey help
him?
October 15, 2008
What a great day! The Conservatives won
the election last night and Mikey is on cloud nine which just happens to look a
lot like him. They still can only form a minority government but Mikey says
that’s good since they’ll need even more help to get a majority next time and
that might mean a Senate seat for him.
December 22, 2008
If there’s a big, fat, puffy cloud
numbered ten, we’re on it today! Mikey has just been appointed a senator. He’s
downstairs right now practicing his acceptance speech in front of our
extra-wide full-length mirror. Mikey’s too much of a gentleman to say anything
but I know he’d like to give a big fat raspberry to all his former colleagues
who made fun of him as “Senator Mike”, “the Puffster” or “the Charlottetown
Doughboy.” Who’s laughing now, media clowns?
June 30, 2009
It’s been a great summer what with so many
all-expenses-paid trips around the country talking to the Tory faithful. We
even managed to fit in a quick visit to our “principal” residence in Cavendish,
P.E.I. (“nudge, nudge, wink, wink” as Mikey always says). It sure is swell how
all this can be charged to Mikey’s Senate expense account since it’s all about
helping Canadians, albeit those Canadians who are Conservative.
December 6, 2012
Mikey’s downstairs yelling at the
furniture and kicking the dog. The Senate is investigating his housing and
expense claims and saying that they were improper. What a bunch of hypocrites!
It’s not as if half of them aren’t doing the very same thing.
From day one, Mikey has been upfront and
aboveboard about all this. He’s an Islander through and through and always has
been. Heck, our house here in Ottawa has more lobster traps, Anne mementos and
potato cookers than anyplace I know west of Summerside. If we don’t qualify as
P.E.I.’ers, I don’t know who does.
February 13, 2013
It looks like this whole misunderstanding
is finally going to get sorted out. That nice Nigel Wright from the prime
minister’s office cut Mikey a cheque for $90,172 to pay for his outstanding
Senate expenses.
I expressed concern that the media might
get suspicious but Mikey said not to worry. From his experience, those media types
aren’t too good with numbers and will likely round the amount down to an even
$90,000 and won’t make the connection with his debt of $90,172. As Mikey says,
$90,000 could be for anything like a new home in P.E.I. or for services
rendered for all those Conservative fundraising dinners he attended on the
rubber chicken circuit.
June 5, 2013
Well the seaweed has hit the shore as they
say in P.E.I. Mikey’s downstairs helping the dog kick the cat and muttering
about some “double-crossing s.o.b.” He had to resign from the Conservative
caucus and poor Nigel had to resign, too. What’s really frying Mikey’s taters
though is that the prime minister is washing his hands of the whole thing. He
says Harper won’t even reply to his texts anymore.
April 7, 2015
You’d think that this would be a sad day
what with the trial starting and all but I haven’t seen Mikey happier in
months. He joked that he’s finally going to get his “year in court” and that if
he goes down, he’s going to take the whole ship of fools down with him.
