Thursday, November 22, 2012
Romney Keeps Running
Sources close to the Republican presidential nominee say that his defeat in this year’s election revealed the previously unsuspected ailment. Doctor Phillip Morris of Mass General’s crack psychiatric unit assessed Mr. Romney and made the initial diagnosis.
“I think it’s pretty clear that the patient is suffering from political addiction,” said Dr. Morris. “The fact that the election has ended and yet he continues to deliver his stump speech and give vague and ambiguous answers to the simplest of questions was a dead giveaway.”
Dr. Morris noted that it is not normal for an individual to run unsuccessfully for president for five continuous years.
“Let’s face it,” said Morris. “Candidates for president are not what you would call normal to begin with but most of them know when to stop. Mr. Romney seems to lack that particular ability.”
Beginning in 2007 when he started his unsuccessful campaign for the 2008 Republican nomination, Mr. Romney has done nothing but run for president. His 2008 campaign seamlessly morphed into his 2012 campaign.
“When I interviewed Mr. Romney,” said Dr. Morris. “It was clear that he could not stop running for president. He’s not what we call in the business “completely nuts” since he knows the U. S. presidency is now out of reach for him. But I am concerned that he still insists on running for president of something.”
The doctor’s observation seems to have been confirmed by a recent Romney press release announcing his candidacy for the presidency of Honduras in their upcoming 2013 elections. Citing his father’s birth in Mexico, his support of self-deportation for illegal Hispanic immigrants and his expertise in outsourcing American jobs to lesser developed countries, Romney has touted himself as the perfect choice to lead that country or, for that matter, any country.
In the event of a Honduran defeat and an unsuccessful medication regimen, Mr. Romney is apparently considering a run for president of Afghanistan or Slovakia in 2014 and, if necessary, his local chamber of commerce in 2015.