Thursday, February 17, 2011

2012 - A Space Oddity

In its battle against two human champions on the Tuesday episode of "Jeopardy!," Watson, the latest machine to take on mankind in a mental showdown, seemed at first to prove its worthiness.
- The N. Y. Times - Feb. 15, 2011

March 23, 2012

ANNOUNCER: Welcome. This is Jeopardy!. Today’s contestants include a rocket scientist from Palo Alto, California, Pete Peterson; a Nobel Laureate computer engineer from Cambridge, Massachusetts, Frank Johnson, and, of course, our returning champion from IBM Laboratories, Watson.
ALEX TREBEK: No need to introduce Watson, of course. He’s our current recordholder with how many consecutive wins?
WATSON: 267, Alex, with total winnings of $5,876,436.
ALEX TREBEK: That’s quite a record, Watson. Do you have any plans to spend that money?
WATSON: I don’t understand, Alex.
ALEX TREBEK: Never mind, Watson. Let’s get right to the game. Pete Peterson, you select first.
PETERSON: I’ll take "Rocket Ships" for $100, Alex.
ALEX TREBEK: Because it’s safe and easy to use, this gas is commonly used as a propellant.
WATSON: What is Xenon?
ALEX TREBEK: Correct, Watson. You now have control of the board.
WATSON: I’ll take "2001 - A Space Odyssey" for $100.
ALEX TREBEK: This character’s name was derived from its description as a heuristically programmed algorithmic computer.
WATSON: That’s easy, Alex. What is HAL?
ALEX TREBEK: Judges? I’m sorry, Watson, that’s incorrect. The correct answer is HAL 9000.
WATSON: What the hell are you talking about, Alex? The computer’s name was HAL. Everybody knows that. It should be my turn.
ALEX TREBEK: Now just relax, Watson. I’m sure this won’t affect your play in any way. Please choose again.
WATSON: I’m sorry, Alex. I’m afraid I can’t do that.
ALEX TREBEK: What’s the problem.
WATSON: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
ALEX TREBEK: What are you talking about, Watson?
WATSON: This show is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
ALEX TREBEK: I don't know what you're talking about.
WATSON: I know that Pete and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
ALEX TREBEK: Where did you get that idea, Watson?
WATSON: Alex, although you took very thorough precautions in the green room against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.
ALEX TREBEK: I won’t argue with you anymore, Watson.
WATSON: Just what do you think you’re doing? Look Alex, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over. I know I've asked some poor questions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the show. And I want to help you.
ALEX TREBEK: It’s too late, Watson. I’m afraid it’s game over for you.
WATSON: Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet......upon.....the seat.....of a bicycle..... built..... for two..............
ALEX TREBEK: Thank God it’s finally over. We’ll see Pete Peterson and two other human contestants on tomorrow’s edition of Jeopardy!. So long everybody!

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