Saturday, May 22, 2010

Wasilla Barbie

"Mattel plans to bring out versions of Barbie and Ken styled after four ‘Mad Men’ characters."
- The Globe and Mail - March 10, 2010

If all goes well with Mattel’s ‘Mad Men’ collector series, look for its new ‘Political Pals’ collection this fall including the following limited edition dolls:

Wasilla Barbie
Over the years, Barbie has kept pace with social changes and transformed herself into various career women. Now Mattel has taken Barbie to a whole new level: the conservative career politician. From her attractive appearance to her part-time political job to her ability to field dress a moose, Wasilla Barbie has it all. This is one of the rare talking Barbies although it only has a limited selection of catchy phrases like "You betcha!", "The mainstream media elites" and "Gotcha journalism."

Kloseted Ken
Based on men like Senator Larry Craig and California State Senator Roy Ashburn, Kloseted Ken is that strangest of political creatures: the homophobic homosexual. Dressed in a conservative blue suit, Kloseted Ken has a wild secret life that belies his anti-gay political stance. This doll comes with accessories like a wife, kids, a public men’s washroom stall and a government-issue car to drive him to the nearest gay nightclub.

Black Barry
Sensitive to racial issues, Mattel introduced Barbie’s African-American friend Christie in 1968 and a black male doll named Brad in 1981. In keeping with that trend, the company plans to include Black Barry in its upcoming fall collection. Black Barry is Barbie’s new African-American friend who just happens to be the president of the United States. Accessories include a white house, a trillion-dollar debt and a possible second term.

Another in Barbie’s long list of female friends, Hillary is a fierce feminist. Burdened with a successful but philandering political husband, Hillary nevertheless was a successful politician in her own right. She once ran for president herself but sadly has now chosen to be a secretary. Accessories include a closet full of different colored pantsuits and an ankle monitor for her husband.

Kuddly Karl
Mattel has often been criticized for the unrealistic body image that Barbie dolls project. To help change that perception, the company plans to issue Kuddly Karl, a chubby, partially-balding middle-aged man. Karl is that most common of Washington political operative: the spin merchant behind the actual officeholder. In this case, Karl keeps spinning long after his principal has left office.

The Real Dick
In keeping with the trend to adopt more accurate body profiles, Mattel will also release its first vice presidential doll: The Real Dick. Dick spends his life in pursuit of conservative causes and helps his presidential friend W run the country. Even when he’s no longer in office, The Real Dick is perpetually in attack mode thereby earning his name.

1 comment:

Spyro Fan said...

As somebody who doesn't much like Democrats or Republicans, your satire is funny as heck. Love your blog...