Tuesday, June 09, 2009

The Apocryphal Briefings

It turns out that top-secret intelligence briefings prepared by Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld around the time of the March 20, 2003 U. S. invasion of Iraq had cover sheets with inspirational pro-war Bible quotes presumably designed to appeal to George W. Bush’s born-again Christian faith. What hasn’t been revealed until now, however, is that there were alternate briefings that didn’t get sent, briefings with potentially more useful quotes from the Bible and from some long-lost books of the Apocrypha.

February 6, 2003
"The one called Kolin shall gather all the nations and falsely urge their armies to join together and make war against Babylon." - Letter to the Grecians 8:4-5

February 20, 2003
"And the burning bush signified to them that a connection must be found between the evil one and the more evil one though they be mortal enemies." - 1 Esoch 16:7

March 10, 2003
"Be not afraid for the Sumerians possess weapons but not in mass numbers nor capable of great destruction." - The Book of Lot 3:21

March 13, 2003
"And they celebrated throughout the night with wine and mead and cakes of all description although none of the cakes glowed of yellow." - 2 Esoch 5:15

March 20, 2003
"The sky will rain down flaming weapons and the whole land will be a burning waste of oil and sulfur. The people will empty the cities and towns and museums of all their treasures." - The Book of Sarah 6:21-22

May 1, 2003
"The Lord spoke and said unto them: ‘Be merciful and show kindness to your enemies. Do not disarm them. And do not shame them with banners above your sailing ships proclaiming victory." - The Gospel according to Michael 3:8-9

November 30, 2005
"The time will surely come when everything in your palace and all that your fathers have stored up until this day will be carried off to Babylon. Nothing will be left, says the Lord." - 2 Kings 20:16-17

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