"W", The Musical

PLAYBILL March, 2009
Gerald R. Ford Theatre

Under the direction of James Baker and George H. W. Bush

"W" - A musical tragi-comedy in two acts

Based on the Administration of America’s 43rd President
Choreography by the Republican National Committee
Original Broadway Cast Recording by The White House and 8½ Minute Gap Recordings Inc.

Synopsis: "W"

Somewhere between a Shakespearean drama and a Marx Brothers comedy, this new musical tells the story of an accidental president. From the rousing opening number "I Can’t Believe I Won" (reprised in act two) to the mournful final number "Sorry About That", "W" is a nonstop entertainment of miscues, mistakes and malapropisms.

The play opens with the unlikeliest of American presidents - W, an incurious cowboy wannabe hand-picked by the Republican elite to run in 2000. In a surprising turnaround, W, with the help of the right wing of the Supreme Court, snatches victory from the jaws of a half-million vote defeat and sends the former Vice President, Sore Loser, packing back to his home in Tennessee.

Nine months of mediocrity explodes into unprecedented popularity for W when the terrorists attack and fell the twin towers. W pursues the enemy in Afghanistan but then mysteriously takes a wrong turn and invades Iraq. All seems forgiven with the big aircraft carrier showstopper "Mission Accomplished" until the conquered country descends into predictable chaos.

Act two opens with W reprising the song "I Can’t Believe I Won." Despite his bumbling incompetent ways, he manages to "swift boat" his dull Democratic opponent Lurch and magically transform a narrow victory into a giant pot of political capital to spend.

Despite winning reelection, W finds things going from bad to worse as his pals mishandle everything from Katrina to Iraq to social security reform. Even with his bunker-bound buddy Darth Vader admitting no mistakes and taking every prisoner, W can’t avoid becoming America’s worst two-term president of all time and possibly the worst president since Millard Fillmore. Little surprise that the show ends with a brief soliloquy followed by the mournful apologetic cast song "Sorry About That."

Cast (in order of appearance)
W......................................................George W. Bush
Sore Loser.......................................Al Gore

Majority Members of the Supreme Court
Uppity..............................................Clarence Thomas
Pinafore............................................William Rehnquist
Near Right.......................................Anthony Kennedy
Right.................................................Sandra Day O’Connor
Whacko Right..................................Antonin Scalia

Darth Vader.....................................Dick Cheney
Turd Blossom...................................Karl Rove
First Lady..........................................Laura Bush
Wolfy..................................................Paul Wolfowitz
Fall Guy.............................................Colin Powell
Condi..................................................Condoleeza Rice
Brownie..............................................Michael Brown
Scooter................................................I. Lewis Libby
Rummy...............................................Donald Rumsfeld
Lurch...................................................John Kerry

Understudies: Understudies never substitute for listed players unless a specific announcement for the appearance is made at the time of the performance.

Understudy for Dick Cheney - GEORGE W. BUSH; for Donald Rumsfeld - ROBERT GATES; for I. Lewis Libby - DAVID ADDINGTON; for Al Gore - HILLARY CLINTON; for John Kerry - BARACK OBAMA; for William Rehnquist - JOHN ROBERTS; for Colin Powell - CONDOLEEZA RICE.

Scenes and Musical Numbers

ACT ONE Washington, D. C.
Prologue: "I Can’t Believe I Won".........................W and the right wing majority of the Court
Scene 1: "Let’s Help the Rich".............................Darth Vader and Turd Blossom
Scene 2: "Summer on the Ranch"........................W and Laura
Scene 3: "The Towers are Falling - My Poll Number’s Rising..........W
Scene 4: "Let’s Do Iraq"......................................Wolfy, Darth Vader & Turd Blossom
"No, No, No, Maybe".............................Fall Guy
Scene 5: "Mission Accomplished".........................W & Turd Blossom
Scene 6: "What Went Wrong?"...............................Wolfy, Rummy and Turd Blossom
"Blue Skies"..............................................Darth Vader

ACT TWO Somewhere in The White House
Scene 1: "I Can’t Believe I Won" (reprise)..............W & the Swift Boat Veterans
Scene 2: "Spending My Political Capital".................W & Darth Vader
Scene 3: "Between Iraq and a Hard Place".................Rummy & Condi
Scene 4: "A Heckuva Job"...........................................Brownie & W
Scene 5: "All Hail Halliburton"...................................Turd Blossom & Scooter
"We’re in the Money"....................................Darth Vader & friends
Scene 6: "I Don’t Care For Polls".................................W
"Never Admit Your Mistakes".........................Darth Vader
"Shoot First and Ask Questions Later"..............Darth Vader and his lawyer
Scene 7: "Lame Ducks Gotta Fly".....................................W, Darth Vader & Turd Blossom
Scene 8: "Finale: Sorry About That"..................................W followed by Darth Vader, Rummy, Turd Blossom and then the entire cast including the right wing majority of the Supreme Court and the Swift Boat Veterans.