Empty Chair Posts Strong Showing In Early Voting

This election year has seen a surge in early voting as more and more states allow for this convenient option.
Both the Obama and Romney camps had hoped that early voting would give them an edge.  Much to everyone’s surprise, however, exit polls show that  the early leader in pre-election balloting is the empty chair from the Republican Convention.
“No one saw this coming at all,” said Bob Bingham, head of the political science department at Iowa Agricultural & Technical College. “Campaign experts figured this option would favor President Obama but, boy, were we wrong!”
Some observers expected that the empty chair would experience a measurable bump in the polls after his joint appearance with Hollywood megastar Clint Eastwood.  But few figured that bump could be sustained and result in millions of early write-in votes.
For example, early voters in Iowa have broken the record from 2008 as more than half a million ballots have already been cast prior to election day, the majority of them naming the empty chair for president.
“I was overwhelmed with all the negative TV ads from the Obama and Romney campaigns,” said first time Des Moines voter Dunk Anne Fyfe. “It was refreshing to see a candidate who didn’t diss all the others.”
“When I considered the three options,” said Ames, Iowa resident Chip N. Dale. “The empty chair had it all over the other two guys.”
Other early voters echoed this same refrain, citing the empty chair’s strong, silent approach; his complete absence of guile and his consistent sitting position.
Given this surprising development, media outlets from across the country have tried to get in touch with the empty chair. Although reported to be staying at the Furniture Barn in Tampa, Florida, Mr. Chair was unfortunately not available for comment.